It’s the time of year when I like to reflect on the past year, and count my blessings, which are many.
The year has had its ups and downs, but I choose to focus on the good and not the bad. I think we are much happier at the end of the day, if we don’t dwell on the bad stuff, don’t you think?
I know this space is mostly about interior design, but today, I want to reflect on what I am most thankful for. Yes, I am boring, it is my family and friends, and God. I love my life, what I do, and hanging out here on this blog, but at the end of the day, it’s the relationships that are most important. They bring me more joy than any accomplishment or accolade.
I’m not trying to suggest that my relationships are perfect and without conflict. Life with people can be messy. They disappoint, they are selfish and don’t think about us maybe as often as they should. They can be annoying and difficult. Still where would our lives be without our family and friends? The worst part is that sometimes that describes us, or maybe I’m just talking to myself.
I recently found this old prayer book Grace before Meals. Inside was a written prayer. My mother-in-law said many public prayers, as the wife of the seminary dean, then later as a minister’s wife.
I found one of her prayers in that little book. She probably wrote it for a specific luncheon, then carefully stuffed it back into the book, since she never threw anything away.
We didn’t always get along, my mother-in-law and me. I had done the unforgivable… I married her son, an only child. Our relationship was complicated, sometimes very close, and sometimes strained. She was my ‘sandpaper’. Dealing with the relationship, sanded away my rough edges. I loved her. I just needed space, more space than she was willing to give.
I do think about her a lot. She’s gone on to heaven, but I am surrounded by her things. These crystal stems for example were wedding gifts.
We, of course, never actually got to use them when she was alive. The wood dough bowl belonged to her grandmother. The plate shown above was also hers.
I’m thinking about her this season, and I can honestly say I miss her. Maybe it’s part of getting older, but I just like to extend grace to people. I figure they are just doing the best they can. I know I want people to give me the benefit of the doubt and to assume the best of me too. Grace is a gift I can give everyone and it doesn’t cost me a cent. My name even means ‘full of grace.’
Grace before Meals – to me it represents not only a prayer before meals, but a reminder to offer someone grace and forgiveness.
LOVE this post, Anita! You really nailed it with your description of life and relationships. And how perfect to find that Grace Before Meals book with the handwritten prayer from your mother-in-law. Thank you for the reminder of grace…it’s so appropriate particularly in this season when we’re likely to spend time with those who are like sandpaper!
So happy you’re on this tour. Thanks for sharing your heart!
Julie
What a wonderful post. I understand exactly where you are coming from. My MIL never liked me. I was the “outsider”-someone from another place beside the old hometown-someone that was “different”. I, too, inherited several of her things and her mother’s things. I have thought that she would probably be resentful if she knew I had them. lol Too bad. We lose “control” once we leave this Earth. In our case, the sad thing to me was not her relationship with me but that it extended to her grandchildren and they were not part of her life.
I am sorry that you had to deal with the resentment and hostilities. It is not an easy path to walk but I know that you dealt with it with grace and aplomb even when you were in the midst of it all. It is nice that you have that little book to look back on and remember that she was a woman of faith and probably struggled with her own feelings towards you as well.
Blessings to you- xo Diana
Oh Anita…I love the sentiments of this post…you have a wonderful heart and I know that you mother-in-law who is now with the angels is looking down with a huge smile of approval and happiness that her son is blessed with a wonderful wife and mother….Love that special book that I am sure your family will treasure forever…
I like this post, Anita, because it presents a more human piece of you. I don’t know why some relationships have to be so complicated. Maybe those are the ones that help us to grow in our understanding of love and grace, both of which are fraught with pain. One of the good things about getting older is that we learn to be more accepting and forgiving.
My precious friend, this made me weep! What a beautiful and poignant post. You are so rich with the wisdom of grace and forgiveness and love you speak of! You are so right about grace. It costs us nothing, but when given to other it is priceless!
I’m going to keep this post close to my heart this Thanksgiving. Thank you so much for sharing this private and beautiful post! No wonder I love you!
Anita, I starting following many blogs for decorating inspiration, but it amazes me how many times someone I do not know personally can be of such a help in my own personal life. This is a wonderful post and I sincerely thank you for sharing it.
I love your find. It’s pretty neat how those memories stir up emotions, that extend to grace. I totally know where you’re coming from.
Your table is lovely! I wish you a very special Thanksgiving!
Wow! Beautiful post. I know this was written from your heart and FULL of GRACE! Thanks for sharing your heart – and your life with me. You are a wonderful friend and I am blessed to have you in my life – just like your mil was – she just couldn’t admit it.
Anita,
A precious tribute to your Mother~in~law. . .and to the woman you’ve become, dear friend!!! I, too, struggled in the early years with my Mother~in~law, but learned to accept her, love her and become a daughter to her. I strive to always give my precious daughter~in~law her space. She, after all, is The Love of My Sons Life!
I, too, use many heirlooms from both of our families as we celebrate the Holidays and family gatherings. They give me great comfort!
Blessings to you at Thanksgiving and all year through!
Fondly,
Pat
I have never posted on anyone’s blog before (and there are several that I read daily) but this particular post is beautiful beyond words. Thank you so much for sharing this. I am deeply touched by your words.
Thank you Lisa!!
Beautiful post anita.
Anita ~ wonderful, wonderful post. From the little book, to the “sandpaper” ( I had never heard this before, but wow it applies ~ we all have “sandpaper” people ), to the bestowing of grace. Your words will stay with me long after this tour ends. Thank you! x
Sweet post, Anita and we both talked about our mother in laws. Great photos and what a special book.
Grace – such a beautiful reminder. And the photos are especially stunning today! xoxo
Wow, Anita, this is a wonderful piece. Brought tears to my eyes and really made me stop and take a look deep down inside of myself. Thank you for sharing.
You are so kind Shelley.
Grace giving is such a wonderful gift to offer to others…something we talk about a lot in our home as we get older. Your reminders and thoughts are so inspirational, Anita. Life is short, and giving others the benefit of the doubt is imperative in keeping relationships strong.
I love having my in-law’s “Grace Before Meals” book!
Mary Alice
Thank you Mary Alice. Relationships are hard work!
Gorgeous table, simple and uncluttered and beautiful photography as always.
Lee
Anita, thank you for sharing your heart and your words today. This was a beautiful tribute to you MIL and a wondeful reminder of the grace we all have recieved from Christ and we should be more willing to give it to those around us. Thank you for your words,
xo Kathysue
That was a touching post Anita.
I have the same exact wine goblets. They belonged to my mother.
Oh Anita, I have a ‘sandpaper’ person in my life too and this truly resonated with me. Thank you so much for being vulnerable and sharing this with us. It was honest and real and so beautiful!
What a special book and sentiment Anita! You shared it so well too with your gorgeous photos. Many blessings to you and your family this Thanksgiving season and always.
What a beautifully written post…sometimes it’s not easy to admit that even though we love someone, we may not always like them. Grace is a lovely gift. What a treasure that book is!
Beautiful post, what would we do without sandpaper
Debbie
Such a sweet post about your family Anita and pretty as always!
Such a beautiful post, Anita! It really spoke to me as my MIL and I had a VERY rough start but she came to love me and me, her. I, too, think of her often and miss her especially at the holidays. This is so beautifully written. I think as we get older it gets a little easier to extend grace. We are wiser, thank God.
Beautiful..Thank-you!
Anita,
Thank you. Thank you for sharing your heart. Thank you for sharing your precious Mother in Law’s prayer.
I sincerely hope that you do not mind that I shared it with a group on Christian Women with a few changes. I did site your blog as the source.
May we all need ‘sandpaper’ in our lives.
Sounds wonderful Janis.
lovely treasures and a beautiful post xo
Thank you for this post to remind us to be grateful and give thanks for what we have. Gratitude is what keeps me going. My husband, already diagnosed with dementia, had a serious stroke two years ago and will live the rest of his days in a care facility. This has created a serious of losses for me, I have lost my friend, companion, comforter, and lover slowly as his condition takes him farther away from me. On my sad days, I stop and count the things I am grateful for and it has always helped me get through the day.
Oh Kay, that is so sad. It must be very difficult for you. No words will make it better I know. Hugs and prayer for you.
What a precious post, it moved me deeply. I had a difficult relationship with my mother-in-law as I too did the unforgivable, fell in love with her son! I blogged about grace this week as well. Such a beautiful word…
Thank you Gayle.
Anita, first, what a beautiful post. It seems to resonant with many women. My MIL and I have had our ups and downs and I know it was hard for her as she felt she was losing her son, although it was not true. Now I am the MIL to two daughter-in-laws. I have always said, “you need to look at the whole person, not just one thing that may not be what you would like. When you do that you will find that each person is beautiful in their own way.” I am happy that my one DIL feels she is blessed to have me as a MIL and has told me so many times. My other DIL is still struggling with sharing her husband, my son, with me. I will always be kind to her, no matter how she treats me bc after all she is the mother of my grandchildren and someday she will be on the other end. I will always keep the lines of communication open and never complain to my son about her. It just doesn’t do any good, after all he loves her and it will hurt him if I complained and I don’t want to hurt him. Yes, as we get older we become wiser and it is grace that needs to be extended. Anita have a lovely Thanksgiving with your family and friends.
Very wise MaryJean! I hope it all works out with DIL #2.
Beautiful…love the sentiments expressed! Being thankful and grateful are attributes we can all practice at anytime. Having strained relationships with the in-laws is also a part of life. I didn’t have that problem, thank goodness, but others. I love the little book and your appreciation of your MIL’s things.
Anita,
Thank you for the reminder…this centered me today as I navigate the ups and downs of retirement .
Such a beautiful post, both visually and spiritually. A wonderful reminder for us all!
Shelley
Such a wonderful post,a good break from fall decorating. I can certainly relate t so many things you said…….said much better than I could. That’s because sometimes it is hard to recon with the fact. Thank you for saying these things for me!
Beautiful post, Anita. Thank you for sharing.
Anita. your beauiful post is a wonderful reminder of the Grace God has given to each of us every single day and I needed this reminder this morning. Thank you so much! Very beautifully said!
What a lovely post. I, too, did the unforgivable – I married her “good” son and I was a city girl, not a country girl. For reason I’ve been dwelling on the flaws of my deceased mother and mother-in-law, and this post was exactly what I needed to read. I will remember the good things about them and extend the grace I so want for myself. Thank you so much for this.
Anita…Such a heart warming and lovely post!
Oh Anita …..I can so relate to you on this post! I too married and only child….and at 19!!!! I knew from the start she wasn’t fond of me….I think she thought I would change him from how she raised him….but the Lord has been in the center of our marriage from the get go….it hasn’t always been easy…we had our moments but with the Lords help and much grace we have all survived! She is still with us….and now just losing my precious mom just two months ago I’m thankful to have her…she is the only parent we have left!!!! True….life and people aren’t always easy…but like you said where would we be without them! Thank you! Blessings! Roxann
Your post was just what I needed to hear this morning. Grace…..yes…..we love to receive it……and we should be generous sharing it with others.
Thank you for your beautiful words on grace and love. I think we all need to be reminded of that more often.
I want to thank you for this great post, as I can totally relate to it….
Have a blessed day~
Maritza
Thank you for sharing your beautiful, loving and gracious heart. We all need to show more grace to those in our lives who can be difficult. Loved seeing her treasures that are now yours.
Well said. I have an antique store in small town Meeker, Colorado, and the name of my store is Restored Grace. The name helps me to remember, and I hope it helps others as well to remember to give grace to others and to themselves.
Hello,
I seem to be having a problem with the way your emails appear, I think I made an error in selection on how I wanted to receive them. But I will try to figure it out ( like html or …). But did like the reminder about grace, between everyday occurrences and old memories, grace is so necessary. Thank you for today! Linda
Email me if you need me to fix it.
Thanks so much, Anita, for sharing vulnerably, and for your courage to ‘voice’ what I haven’t been able to say, yet.
Thank you so much for that… It hit home to me too!! Tears in my eyes… I have a new granddaughter, and beautiful daughter-in-law. We make sure we have respect and honor for each other…in spite of my own mother’s and mother in law’s ability to love & embrace me, I fully embrace this new joyous life given to me by my son!! Thank you soooo much for your open heart to share this!!
A really touching and beautiful post, thank you!
Many Blessings to you,
Beautiful post !
What an inspirational post..with ideas on how to beautify your home as well as your heart. I always look forward to your emails. Keep up the great work.
Thank you for sharing this personal insight. So honest and I appreciate that…. cuts straight to the heart. I’m going to try and remember this during this fall season.
Lovely and timely prayer. I too am a other of an only son so I worry about those days ahead too! Bless his future bride!
The Lord once dropped into my heart, “Grace is like air; it is there. If you refuse to take it in, you will die,” That saved my life.
Anita, I had to revisit this post. It resonated so deeply with me. It really inspired me to seek the good in others and not only cover them with grace, as the Lord does me, but to truly forgive them for the times they’ve hurt me or my loved ones. I’ m not a writer so probably I’m not truly expressing what a difference this post made in my life. I’ve shed tears over it, and prayed over it and I’m changing – learning to live in grace. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Susan, thank you so much for sharing your journey with me. Isn’t life so much better when we don’t harbor any resentment in our hearts? I am so happy for you!!