I know you think I am going to say ‘all of them’ but I’m not…
Doesn’t this to seem to happen with constant regularity? You see a new design trend. You’re unsure of it. You want to see if it sticks around before you follow it because you’ve been suckered before. Then you see that it is a real trend. It grows on you. Everyone is getting on board with it; you see it everywhere.
I think of the Italian Tuscan look of the 90’s with the reds and golds. It really wasn’t me, but it was the thing at the time. I resisted for a long time, and then I bought a red sofa and 3 (count ’em) three red settees and 2 ottomans.
You decide that you will jump in with both feet because by now, you are so smitten with the look and you feel like your home looks like it belongs in the stone ages. You change over to the new look, just as the trend is fading. So once again your house is completely out of date. And you are stuck again.
Yup I finally got into the reds and golds, and the Italian landscape artwork, and changed my entire house over to reds. Then a few years later, my house looked very dated when the neutrals came into popularity. Now I had yellow walls I didn’t like AND a ton of brand new red furniture.
I still have all of this furniture by the way; I just slipcovered all of it.
(I hope you appreciate me showing you these photos. I wouldn’t do it for just anyone.)
I got black granite counter tops and I was an early adopter back in the early 90’s. Then black granite went out and marble became the new darling. (Don’t worry I think black granite is a classic even if it isn’t ‘hot’ right now.)
So many, many times I bought something because it was popular at the time, and then soon after it was no longer in style. Then when it went out of style, I couldn’t get rid of it fast enough.
This is an especially big problem if you cannot afford to change out your stuff often. Even if you can afford it, it seems so wasteful to get rid of things every few years just because styles have changed.
So what’s a girl (or boy) to do?
Here’s my philosophy. This won’t work for everyone, but it works for me.
MAKE SURE YOUR VIEW OF YOURSELF IS NOT DEPENDENT ON YOUR HOUSE
I know it is easier said that done, but I think too often we give the key to our happiness over to other people. If everyone thinks your home is dated, does that mean you are less valuable as a person? I don’t think I need to answer that one. I remember when I left my big consulting job. I became in some ways a nobody as least it felt that way. I was no longer a consulting engineer, I was (in the eyes of some) a housewife *gasp* and a stay at home mom. I let my identity be my career and when it left my career, I left my identity behind. This was a hard lesson for me, but it was freeing in a sense. This was the beginning of my creative career as a nobody.
I’ve learned that I am not the sum of my career + my looks + the money I have – my weight. I am who God created me to be. I’m older now and I see we have value because God loves us, not because of anything else. When my daughter (the one with Down Syndrome) was born I began to understand it even more. I love her fiercely because she is my daughter period. She has lots of wonderful traits, but that is not why I love her. I love her because she is my daughter, not because of any other reason. I told my girls I would love them no matter what. Even if they committed a terrible crime I would still love them because they are my children.
DECORATE FOR YOURSELF NOT THE WORLD
Look, it is nice (very nice) to have your house featured in a magazine. I’m not going to lie, it’s pretty awesome, but it’s not everything. I was faced with a situation where a BIG magazine was interested featuring my guest quarters. They decided they did not want it and knowing that magazine I am pretty sure it was because of the lack of color in the room. I thought about adding color to get in the magazine feature, then sat back and wondered if I should change the room just to get in the magazine. What if I changed the entire space just to get in the magazine, but I wasn’t thrilled with the room after the magazine left? Isn’t that the definition of having a cake but not being able to eat it? I decided not to change the space. My style is what it is. If it doesn’t work for that magazine, then that’s not a good fit for me. I’m a firm believer in being yourself, and creating your own style. The people that stick around are your peeps, the other people are not.
DON’T FOLLOW TRENDS, FOLLOW YOUR HEART
Yes this is the crux of the matter. I believe this whole-heartily. I have a few tips I use to keep your house from looking dated, but still be true to yourself. If your style is lots of color and that is what makes you happy, who cares if you don’t see that in the magazines? What about if you love country French design and everyone is going all mid-century modern around you? Stay the course!
What makes me sad from a designer standpoint is when people go buy something everyone else is buying just to fit in and feel like the cool kids. (YOU ARE THE COOL KID AND THEY SHOULD BE FOLLOWING YOU, RIGHT?)
So back to my original question, ‘which trends should you avoid?’
TRENDS I AVOID
There are two types of trends I avoid.
- Trends that I don’t really like. I am not going to buy something just to look ‘current’. It’s a waste of money if I am buying just to be ‘cool’.
- Trendy big ticket items, since you don’t want to have to replace them a few years down the road when they are no longer the latest. For tiles, countertops, appliances, big ticket things, I would go with classics.
On another note, the new issue of the Round Top Register is out.
Check out my column in the latest Round Top Register!
Great post! Most of us are challenged by how to make our house a home and can be easily swayed by someone else’s idea of a must have decor. I feel you should pick things YOU love. Period. Go trendy in little ways if you must but avoid being a copy.
Such a great way of looking at it. I tend to stay more on the classic side not only because that is my style but because my husband thinks you should NEVER get rid of anything if it is still in good shape. It’s a struggle I have learned to deal with for years. Believe me, there are times when something gets broken or ripped and I am practically jumping for joy! He has gotten a little better over the years though and even agreed to a full kitchen renovation last year. (He is still recovering from that one!).
Shelley
Great posting, I can relate to your reds and golds as I had everything burgundy and gold and now slowly changing it out to mostly neutrals with a touch of blues. (I actually had blues/whites in late 80s mid 90s) Having a hard time with the area rug for living room though, don’t want a trendy one and not sure of solid or pattern but that’s another subject lol. Thanks for your postings, love them and it is a wonderful feeling to know that God does love us. Have a great day.
Blessings to you, Candy
Great advice. A decorating magazine is just a venue for ideas, you pick and choose what you like and works for you. I love fashion magazines, but it doesn’t dictate my style. Some styles and colors are a fad. I like the fact that you cover your red furniture and could change it back as you and your style change. Great post!
Oh my goodness Anita, I feel like I could have written so much of this post! From the leaving of my corporate career to decorating in the Tuscan style when I never really loved it. Luckily when we moved back to Dallas from Houston my husband agreed we could sell whatever I wanted and start over in our new home. Wow, how great was that! I contacted friends and people I had done some decorating for and I literally had people climbing on cabinets to take stuff off the top and taking artwork and tapestries off the walls! Rugs came up and furniture was hauled out. We were left we the things we loved which were mostly family pieces and things I had found at flea markets and antique shops..my true treasures.
I also have to laugh to myself when my friends tell me that linen and white and French country is out and what about gray…over!! I just smile and say that’s ok I love it and I am happy with my choices and can’t wait to see the mid century modern in their homes but it’s not for me. Perhaps you are right, we become more confident as we get a little older, and like you I am influenced by what I see in magazines and on line but I think I finally know what is me. Thanks for always writing such an informative and well thought out post. I have unsubscribed to so many that just post what they buy..that gets pretty boring but you educate, inform and speak from the heart.
Ditto Sharon’s response to March 31 post. I too suffered an identity crises of the loss of my career in the oil and gas industry this past year. It has prompted me to make another life altering decision, but one that I have dreamed of for lifetime. That being to sell my present home in a town I have never been fond of, and to buy a small cottage in my home state and return there to retire. This too has been a paring down process to only the essential collections of my life that I truly love, and it does not matter if they are anyone else’s concept of what is in or out of style. They are classics and will look right no matter where they find their home.
Good for you Beverly!!
I LOVE everything you just said! Great wisdom! God created only one YOU and your home should reflect you and your family! I’m in the midst of building our retirement home and this advice is priceless! THANK YOU Anita.
I loved reading this post! It was so much more about life than design trends to avoid. Thanks for the words of wisdom.
The biggest compliment I ever got was when my friend brought her married daughter over to my home. She said “I just love your style. I don’t know what style it is but I love it.” My friend said “Oh it’s just Gloria’s style.” Isn’t that the whole point? Express yourself and cater to your family.
Love it! My style is Kim’s style. We’re on the same wave length as in do your own thing, not someone else’s thing!
These are all wonderful tips, I have learn to buy what I absolutely love, I’m not a trend follower, I love soft colors, French everything..lol….I once had a new friend come to my home and she loved my style so much so that the next time she came for a visit she brought another friend of hers to see my home, I was flattered to say the least……I love your style and your views on decor…..
“I’ve learned that I am not the sum of my career + my looks + the money I have – my weight. I am who God created me to be.” Anita…you are MY Tony Robbins. Great read…spot on in every way! oxoxo
I’ve never been much of a trend follower. I’ve always been more of a rebel with a “don’t tell what to do” attitude, lol! If you see something in my home that’s currently “on trend”, I can guarantee you it’s not there because it’s trendy, it’s there because I like it…..because it spoke to me in some way. We recently completed a total gut and remodel of our master bath. White subway tile, white clawfoot tub and pedestal sink, mirrored doors on all cabinets, beadboard ceiling and white, marble look sheet vinyl on the floor. We painted the walls above the tile the lightest dove grey with a hint of putty color you can imagine. A guest said ” Oh, you went with the new trend for grey I see”. And I laughed and said that I was matching the not quite white tone in the “white” subway tile and wasn’t aware that that color was currently a trend!
You give excellent advice. Be yourself and let your home reflect your unique sensibility’s and personality. And take your time. Rome wasn’t built in a day and your home shouldn’t be either.
Great post. This is so true, I get so confused about what is on trend and whether I should try to apply it to my home. The thing is, I think, to appreciate that you enjoy style and other people’s taste but always go with your own in your special place at home x
Great Post.
I am not a trend follower & that is one reason I have been so tired of shabby chic & beiges. My daughter does beige & creams all over & I find her house boring. I love color & all the old French colors from long ago & natural wood.
Thank you so much! You really took a load off of me. I will enjoy my bookcases full of books instead of knickknacks and the beige walls a little while longer and spend money on a vacation instead.
You have phenomenal taste…I even still love your Tuscany colors in your living room! I find myself saving all of your photos, then pinning them onto my various boards! Thanks for the great posts! I love your impeccable style❤️
Anita that was a great column!!!
I too became Tina Tuscany…. Red gold brown bronze
And it wasn’t me !!!
I’m just now starting to find me decorating wise
Am I more mature?
I hope so
Am I wiser?
I pray so
Am I happier?
Most definitely
Thank you for you wise interpretations
Sorry but I love the reds and gold you have & would pull off the slipcover it is so classic European which is what I love, having spend 8 years in Germany and the old world charm, it calls to my heart. You can keep the bland neutral colorless homes, they look dead to me and to lack personality. Give me color all day long & my favorite colors not what’s in. The “in colors” always look dated so quickly, remember the brown and turquoise just a few years ago? Go with your heart not what’s in and you’ll always love your home.
I have spent the afternoon reading your new book FRENCH ACCENTS. Then opened my email to this post. I love your suggestions, recommendations and honesty. I have decided I’m not into French design but your book makes me feel that that is ok. And this post confirms that too. Thanks so much. I enjoy seeing how
I literally just pressed “publish” on my blog basically talking about the same thing, being true to you, then opened my email to see your newsletter. You said it so much better – and with way prettier pictures. 😉 I just had to go back in and edit to put a link to your post.
I still have trouble deciding on a style or color. I love all white, I love wild Bohemian colors. I love primitives and a touch of fancy. So end up with an eclectic mix. A mix that desperately needs some editing and fine tuning. I love mid century modern, but that, unfortunately, rarely works with anything else in my house.
Your post was refreshing.
I remind myself all the time that the magazines and companies want me to redecorate all the time because that’s how they earn their living. I have to make our little cottage work for who we are. Before I was writing a blog or on Instagram, I saw lots of chalkboards and I resisted despite loving them because I knew they would go out of style. But when we were updating our kitchen last fall, we painted a chalkboard on our pantry door. We didn’t do it to be stylish, we did it to be functional. My husband keeps his grocery list on the chalkboard and takes a photo of it when he heads to the store. We don’t care if it is in or out.
For some reason have kept to what pleases me (and hubs) pretty much all adult decorating life. Actually even did decorating in parents home. My Mom worked 6 days a week during my school years so she had no time for decorating, let alone energy. On her day off she did laundry and cooked, I did cleaning.
Think I’ve been a creative person most of my life including making my own clothes as a kid, making curtains, decorating on holidays then sewing clothing for kids once I had them and keeping home nice.
Have to say have never had spare money for much so made what I wanted. Actually believe that was far better as had to use my imagination to make things inexpensively or free. To me what was made was more enjoyable. Can remember when I was divorce, people that came to home would comment on my decorations.
My oldest son would comment on how home decorated when we lived in KY.
To me decorating our home is one of my biggest pleasures, figuring out how to make things I might see in a store which would compliment our style or something on internet. Talk about inspiration. When I see things will take maybe some part of it for myself. What I see stimulates ideas of how I want something to look. Have never been a trend follower, same thing with how I dressed when younger and now as an older woman (75). When we lived in KY was told several times I dressed too young by women my age or older. Also had very different ideas of how to behave and think.
Sorry have rambled on and on. Think your post was very interesting topic, get us to think, very much enjoy topics like yours. Important to follow our own hearts. Hope you had great weekend..
Best post yet…thank you!
Thanks Julia, yay!
Love this post! I am just starting out. First home. New mom. My son also has special needs. I certainly don’t have a “style” yet and admittedly don’t really feel like I know what I’m doing but I’ll get there. Loved the message of this and so glad I found your site. I also ordered your book. I’m definitely drawn to French style but live in a very rustic home. Perhaps French will be my guest room. 😉
Thanks Stephanie, and congratulations on your precious new son!
My husband and I recently downsized. This gave us the opportunity to purge and change things up a bit. Our new home is less formal and more relaxed but I was not willing to give up the eclectic style that I love.
I had to chuckle a bit when our dear friends came for dinner the other night and were not quite carried away with my old tarnished display of silver trays on the wall. To them old things are just “used” furniture. That’s OK, I’m happy with my design style, our new digs, and love our friends too!
I think you do what feels right for you. I’ve never had the money to follow any trends. I see things that give me a smile or warm feeling I go with that. Some trends I’m over: neutrals (Call me crazy but I like color), black and white, white subway tiles and dare I say it *shiplap*…. When everyone gets on board with the same look-that’s when I’m tired of seeing it.
I totally agree with you. I’m a new subscriber. I thought “oh boy, I might need to unsubscribe”. But you are right on! I love the bunnies!
Hi Anita – I really needed this one, thank you! The white-washed and farmhouse look (which I LOVE LOVE LOVE) is sooooo in right now but our home is full of color, which works best for our family and our home. As a blogger, it’s a tough place to be because you want to publish what people are going to like and read, but still stay true to yourself. I’ve found that adding small accessories and pieces that meld the designs together is best for me, as I can stay on trend with what’s popular, but also love what I have in my home. Or some of the pieces I sell and put the money towards my breast cancer advocacy. Which is win-win-win for all. I get to play with the design that I love, and then support a cause that I love too! Again, thank you for sharing. It really puts it into perspective! Hugs, Holly
Yes, this is a great post. Thank you! Also, I really like your article in RoundTop magazine — which is a new thing to me. Thanks for introducing me to it. Way to go Anita. Your many many talents and your energy level are amazing!
Wow! Thanks Jennifer. I’m ready for a nap, truth be told!
I agree I buy what I like and sometimes I get home and decide that’s not what I like but I buy things that I love and more times then not I keep them, my home is about my family and friends and not about trends
Great article and right on point. I can relate to your comments about leaving your job. My career was also my identity. My job was a position that afforded me influence and opportunity. I chose early retirement but it was difficult. It was hard in the beginning; I felt like a “nobody” and it took a long time to discover myself again. I discovered a very creative side of me — I love to decorate — and I love French Country. I’m very classic at heart so I don’t adapt easily to trends. If I update anything it’s a few accessories here and there but I stay true to myself. As a new subscriber, I look forward to all your posts. Thanks again.
I’m so happy you are here Sharon! I love that you go with your own style.
Wonderful post! Be true to yourself….how many times have we heard that?? I recently sold a house my x-husband and I built 33 years ago. I painted, installed new carpet, re-upholstered 30-something year old furniture that I still loved, added new lighting and a new custom wood counter top on my island. However, I had Formica Butcher Block on the rest of my counter tops – and there were a lot of them. People would ask me about that…I said – they are still in excellent shape and they don’t bother me. They made a great backdrop for adding my cutting boards, white stoneware, cream/white buffalo check curtains….happy as a pig in the sunshine! Thanks so much for your post – I look forward to them. BTW – the house sold in 9 – NINE – days! Must not have been too bad!
Exactly Jan! Good for you to do what YOU wanted for your home.
Thanks for this article! I have a kitchen that I THINK I want to redo in a French country but I am so afraid the minute I do it will be out of style. I have beautiful custom cabinets that we had built when our house was, 20 years ago. They are a light oak that I know was/is totally 90’s but we live in the country (well, it used to be). I am so torn as what to do.
Love this artcle. Thank you for sharing your ❤
Great article. I sort of went with the gold and reds, too, not because I was that in love with them, but my friend had it. I thought her taste was the bomb and it still is. I just came to realize that things can be tasteful for someone else, not me, and it is just fine. When I bought a home on the coast, I began and am still doing it all in what I really like. It has a long way to go before I can say “finished” but it suits me and I am happy!!
Be true to yourself, and that means the decor of your house. Someone commented to me that my home is so cozy and reflects me. What a great compliment. When we moved, I was challenged as how to showcase my personality in this new home. I never buy trend–even in clothes. I have confidence in my choices of style and don’t rely on “what is in”.
I bought your book from Amazon before I found your blog–they have both changed my entire outlook on my home interior. I am slowly changing to a neutral scheme and it has made me smile everyday. Right now we are working on the kitchen–not a total redo but backsplash and cabinets–can’t wait to be through. Anyway a number of pieces have gone on the neighborhood list serve–if I don’t love it it is gone–great feeling to clear it out. Thank you for being so willing to share your lovely homes, your family and your great decorating tips. I too don’t worry anymore about what everyone is doing?
So great to hear that MD. Thank you so much for reaching out to me! Yay!!
Terrific post! I am decorating our home which we closed on Fri. of this wk. We have lived abroad since 1974 & won’t move back to the US until this Feb/March, but it is a monumental task. This will probably be our last home & I want to make it mine—not thinking resale. It is a humble & simple home — much like my husband & I. Thank you for what I learn in your presence.
I just read this post, and I want to say “thanks, Anita”, for the good advice. It came from your heart and that is what really makes it authentic.
Love your blog, even though my house is farmhouse/cottage style, I still love incorporating a little “French” in the mix!