My blog is about design, and making a room beautiful. Some would say it’s about rainbows and unicorns, sugar and spice and everything nice, where the skies are not cloudy all day.
But that’s not reality is it? I’ve found that the people with a driving passion have often experienced their own private tragedy. I am no exception.
Today is my daughter’s 23rd birthday. To celebrate, I thought I would share a very personal story.
Let me start by saying I love both my daughters and I am so proud of both of them. This is about the day my first daughter was born and how we found out she had Down Syndrome. I have found that each person has their own story of how they dealt with it. Some have no problem accepting it, while others are still depressed years later. I had a tough first year. I accepted my daughter right away, but I was sad for all the things she would miss in life. I also was worried because I knew she would be facing open-heart surgery. Add to that the other problems, the need to see specialists all the time, the many therapies she needed and the fact that she was on a feeding tube for 8 months, and you get one stressed out mama. I am going to be transparent here. I have been attacked when I don’t talk about my daughter and I have been attacked when I do. I have found it doesn’t matter what I say, someone takes issue with it. You just wouldn’t believe the unkind things people say to me. But I’m going to share my story with you any way. If I get some ugly comments, that’s what the delete button is for (and yes I use it!)
We had waited a long time to have a baby. We weren’t ready for the responsibility. I was actually ready first, but my husband was in graduate school, so he wanted to wait until he was finished.
I was okay waiting on motherhood. Being a mom sounded like a lot of work any way. Finally my husband finished his graduate degree and agreed it was time to start a family. We found out right away that we were expecting our first child in August. The ultrasound did not reveal her sex, so I painted her room green with a Winnie the Pooh mural on the wall. I had two friends who were adopting; their babies were due at almost the same exact time as mine.
Ten days early I went into labor. It began at 8 am on a Saturday. That evening as the labor pains began to be very close together we took off toward the hospital, and the pain became very intense. The nurses checked in me, saying I was effaced, but not dilated at all. They suggested I walk around to speed up the process. There was talk of sending me home. I looked that the nurse like she had a horn coming out of her head. Walk around? Really? I was in severe pain. I insisted they come back in and check me again. I couldn’t imagine the labor pains getting worse than they already were. They checked me again,and I heard the nurse say, “She’s ready to go.” I panicked. “Wait. I didn’t get my epidural yet.” I wanted drugs and I wanted them now. They said, “It’s too late.”
“What?”
My OB hadn’t even been called yet. There was no way he was going to make it before this baby came. The nurse turned to the resident and said, “Looks like you’re delivering this one.” His hands began to shake. I didn’t notice it at the time, but Mr. CH told me later. It was his first delivery.
She came out in about 10 minutes which was the only good news I got that day. The reason the delivery was so easy was because she was so small, just barely 5 pounds. The nurses were quiet. I was told she needed to be checked out and they whisked her away to another room. This was my first baby. I didn’t know that something was wrong. I didn’t notice their knowing looks to each other. They avoided eye contact with me, but I was completely unaware of the heartbreak I would experience in mere minutes.
If there was ever an example of blissful ignorance, this was it. I’m sure the nurses told that young doctor it was his job to deliver the bad news. My OB was still not there. We were happy, smiling and laughing. Nothing could prepare us for the next thing that happened.
The doctor walked back into the room. I can see it all now in slow motion. That is the moment my life changed.
He said, “There’s something abnormal about your baby.” My heart began to beat very fast. I knew this was bad, very bad. I knew because of his voice and body language. I understood in that moment that he was about to say something that would crush me. Then he said it. “I think she has Down Syndrome.”
He started talking again, but I couldn’t concentrate on what he was saying. Basically he was congratulating himself on being brave enough to come tell us the terrible news. I needed time alone. I needed to process what he said. I was not in the mood to pat him on the back for his bravery.
The bad news piled on bad news. She had a hearing problem. She would need open-heart surgery in a few months. She couldn’t feed by mouth so they were inserting a feeding tube. They were testing her for Leukemia. The list went on and on. She would remain in Pediatric ICU until further notice. We would not be taking her home anytime soon.
As we arrived home, the house was empty. There were no sounds of a baby crying. The bassinet was in place but eerily empty. Had we been able to bring her home, I think it would not have felt so traumatic.
My perfect life was no more. I never felt as if I was a member of an exclusive country club, but now I felt like an outsider looking in to a club that I no longer belonged to. It’s still difficult for me to grasp how depressed I was. My friends told me I just needed to go the mall, that I would feel better there. But they were wrong. I had to feed her via a tube that went into her stomach. These were very difficult to do without an IV pole, so we had to make to home for every feeding. And then there were the people that stared at us everywhere we went. The feeding tube taped to her face drew everyone’s attention.
To continue the story,
To read about her open-heart surgery, PART I CLICK HERE.
Open-heart surgery PART II CLICK HERE
Part II of this story CLICK HERE.
Part III of this story CLICK HERE
Bravery comes at many levels. I won’t judge but say it looks to me that you quickly came around to having a beautiful baby problems or not. You dealt. Love you
It was a tough first year Mary. But yes she was and is beautiful.
Anita ,
Thank you for sharing your daughter ‘s story. I know something of how you feel. My only daughter was diagnosed with a brain tumor at six years old & surgery but her life was changed forever. She has accomplished much but still it has been a struggle.
Your daughter is beautiful. Happy Birthday!! And thank you forcouageously sharing your story. You are an amazing mom! xoxo
That is a touching story told with such openness. I have been meaning to write to you for some time to congratulate you on your success and to say how deserving you are. I enjoy your displays very much but I sensed right away that you have especially nice qualities as a person.
It doesn’t come as a surprise that you would handle one of life’s toughest challenges with grace and optimism. Thanks for sharing, your family is very cute!
You are amazing.
Both of your daughters are beautiful! Thanks for being brave enough to tell your story. It might just help someone else going through the same situation. Hugs!
Thank youbfor sharing your story, itnis beautiful and i am looking forward to hearing the rest ofnit. Your daughter is beautiful, i hope she has a wonderful birthday!!!
Thanks Kim! She is spending the day with a friend, and yes we’ll celebrate tonight.
Great post Anita.
Thanks Frank!!
You have beautiful daughters. I think Down’s Syndrome children are God’s angels on earth!
I would have to agree with that Carrie.
Oh my…What a beautiful read from you my Dear…your Daughter’s are both beautiful! Thank God you were their Mom as not everyone could handle the situation with such Grace as you have….Hugs to you!!
Thank you for sharing this intimate part of your life. What beautiful daughters you have. My best friend has a grandson with Down’s syndrome and it does present unique challenges. What a blessing that your children have such a wonderful mother as you to guide them through life. Jonah’s big brother has become a compassionate, caring child because of the experiences he has had with his brother. There is so much good about raising a Down’s syndrome child. It is important that you tell your story so that other mother’s who are facing this challenge know that they can raise a contented lovely child.
Your daughter’s beautiful. I am sorry you have had to endure people’s ugliness on top of everything else. Happy birthday to her. I am proud with you.
Your daughters are beautiful and they share such joy as evidenced in those photos.
My mother had German measles in 1964 and pregnant with my baby sister.
The doctors told my parents to abort. They said NO. She was born blind, deaf, and with a hole
in her heart. Eye surgery was done immediately and she was able to see but for how long? She had open heart surgery at age 4. Her deafness is profound and there are no fixes. She is 51 now and at 50 she lost vision in one eye. I pray daily for the remaining vision. She has her own family now but with help. The only thing that she has asked me that I couldn’t answer was why her and not me or any of our other siblings? An arrow straight through my heart for sure.
People not close to or know someone with a disability see the disability not the person and some are hurtful. People with disabilities only see the person. A lesson many could learn from.
Your family is precious and no one can take that away.
Oh Laurie, that is a heart-breaking question. That first year was difficult for me, but since then I stay pretty happy.
Anita, thanks for sharing your story with us. You and your daughters are such a blessing and I know your story will encourage others. Have a beautiful day with your beautiful girls.
This is a good example, especially to younger people who maybe have not had tragedy in their lives, that life can change in an instant. It sometimes might seem unbearable, but whatever doesn’t kill you makes you strong and that is what you are. “Yard by yard, life is hard. Inch by inch, it’s a cinch.” I know many women who have difficulty getting over the birth experience, many times by people’s insensitivity. My Mother, all her life would mention overhearing her Dr. in a hallway, saying “That baby isn’t going to live.” He was talking about her baby and that’s how she found out. You are also showing an example of many things in life that seem like a tragedy at the time turn out to be blessings.
Our stories are different but you know I understand the feelings. So proud of you for being brave and sharing your heart! You’re changing lives and allowing others to know they’re not alone. That’s life at its best! Love you girl!
Love you too Marty!!! Yes different journeys, but we both know a mother’s grief.
My youngest son was a premature and I can relate to the horrible experience of having your child whisked away after birth and then leaving the hospital without them. Luckily for us, he was a strong premie (although he has learning disabilities) and is thriving today. I believe with every disability comes a super ability. As I mom, I stress when my kid gets a hang nail, so I can’t imagine the stress and worry a parent must undergo when serious medical issues arise. You are brave to talk about your experience and may reach another mom struggling. My little guy who is 9 now is a fighter. He’s always had to work harder than anyone else to keep up. Both your daughters are beautiful and I’m sure each posses different and individual strengths and challenges. Thank you for sharing Anita. 😉
Thank you for sharing your story. I am the mom to two wonderful boys with Down Syndrome, brought to us by adoption not by birth. I know well how amazing and how challenging these little sweeties can be with their health issues (one of our sons had Leukemia) and their stubborn streaks too 😉 But they are each a blessing and we’ve learned so much from being their parents. I look forward to reading the rest of your story!
Thank you for sharing your story, Anita. My sister in law has DS (almost 50 y/o). The purest of hearts. My son has cerebral palsy – I have experienced many of the same feelings you share. I still struggle with “what if’s” and “what then’s”….. and have the occasional pity party. Have a great birthday celebration! You and your girls are beautiful!
Oh Dale, I hear ya. It’s a rough road, but so happy to have my girls and I know you feel the same way about your son. and sister in law.
I think your girls are beautiful inside and out. I am sure as they were growing up you were an awesome mom. I love the picture of yall way back. I cant imagine anybody saying cruel things to you. Until they have been in that situation they shouldn’t judge. I love everything about you and all you do. Thank you for sharing cant wait for Part 2.
Happy Birthday hope your day is fabulous.
Hugs, Terri Stewart (Cedar Farmhouse Fan in NC)
Your daughters are both so beautiful. And you were and are a wonderful mother to them both. I can’t imagine the difficulty and fear you went through! And I think this story will help others going through the same things.
Thank you for sharing your journey, Anita.
Thank you for sharing your story and I look forward to reading the rest. I admire your family and send my wishes to your daughter for a lovely birthday!
I am always amazed at some of the negative, hurtful comments that people actually take the time to type out and leave on someone’s post… I don’t understand… why take time to say something about something you don’t like? Just leave!
Thank you for sharing your story, your daughter is beautiful :o)
I had to laugh when I read the part when you were in labor and wanting drugs… lol… I asked for them too and was told the same thing… “It’s too late honey!” Good thing that nurse was wise enough to stay out of arms reach!
Tania
I can somewhat understand how you felt my firstborn was born with his little leg turned in , it’s called club foot we left the hospital in a cast , had to have it changed every week due to growth for the first 8 months then he underwent surgery
It was so hard , people can be so cruel was asked if I broke his leg or if DR did but hardest of all was just wondering if it was something I did wrong while pregnant with him
Thankfully surgery worked but I know just how cruel people can be sometimes and how hard it is when our babies are not seen as what the world says is the ” perfect” baby
Hugs
Rebecca
So happy everything worked out Rebecca. Our children are so precious.
I admire your strength, love and devotion beyond words. Beautiful family! Barb
What an honest, vulnerable way to share this with everyone. So appreciate your “real-ness”…..that, more than anything, has the ability to help someone else that is currently, or will be, walking in your shoes. Love you Anita!
debbie
Love you too Debbie and I miss you.
Happy Birthday to your beautiful daughter!
Thanks to you and your husband she is now living a life more full and wonderful than many children who were born with no challenges at all.
God Bless you and your family!
How giving of you to share this story with all of us. And delete those naysayers immediately! I just experienced how life can change on a dime as we almost lost my husband of 30 years to an emergency heart condition and our outlook is definitely different today than it was a month ago. But you are living proof that adversity just makes us stronger. Your girls are beautiful, I am sure, both inside and out and I look forward to reading part II.
Anita thank you for sharing your story! What an amazing journey you have been on these last 23 years. First off you have two beautiful daughters and I can only imagine how beautiful their personalities are being raised by such a beautiful soul such as yourself! Also please wish your daughter a “Happy 23rd Birthday”. I have a niece who’s 2nd daughter was born with Spina Bifida….when her ultra sound was done the news could not have been worse….they said she had a lemon head….the hole in her spine was about the size of a quarter and where the placement of the hole would mean she would never walk without help….as in braces and crutches and maybe wheel chair….. I remember getting the news….she wanted everyone in the family (calling all prayer warriors) to come over and pray…and that we did…. when Josie Faith was born the Dr.s at the this very large Children’s Hospital were amazed by what they saw….her hole had closed up to the size of a pencil head….her head was normal….with those early miracles we had to wait to see what the future would hold with other complications we were told she would have….she had several shunts put in her head….and they said she had no feeling from her waist down….to make this long story short she is now 13 years old and has never needed braces for her legs….she walks on her own even did Dance lessons….the Dr’s. don’t understand how she can walk….but her mother does….she never lost faith in God….and your story touched me in the same way….what an encouragement your story will be to so many….thank you for being brave and strong enough to share with us!!!! Blessings to you all!!!! Roxann ♡
Thank you for sharing. Your courage is inspiring!
Happy 23rd birthday to your oldest! She’s fortunate to have you as a mother and I’m happy to have you as a friend. You’re able to share the “bad stuff ” along with all the beauty. That’s what friends do.
That was the most beautiful love story I’ve ever read!
Sounds to me as if you are doing a wonderful job. God Bless your Family.
Tears are flowing as so much of this hits home with me too but this is your story. Just know my heart connected to your reading this and I get it, I know it, I understand it. You are a good loving momma and I appreciate you sharing your story. Much love to you.
Happy birthday to your daughter! Our kids are our everything, no matter what. Thanks for sharing your story – it reminds us to cherish every day with them.
Dagmar – Dagmar’s Home
I am looking forward to reading part 2. I’m so sorry for what you went through… What strikes me the most is that you’ve faced criticism. I don’t know if I will ever understand people.
Your girls are beautiful and so are you!
I have a child..my first..with spina bifida..paraplegic..developmentally delayed..Yada yada..you know the many terms that are used…and until you walk in those shoes you cannot have an opinion about mothering skills….write your story…we are listening ..not judging….
abnormal ?? This is the word I read and deep heartedly respond to she is as normal as any child 🙂
What a beautiful gift God gave you, and a love that melts your heart I am sure. I see the sisterly love here and that bonding moment warms my heart.
We too have a Down Syndrome cousin and as kids we saw nothing different then the abundant love she gave… Faith was her name, and living a well adjusted life in a group home where she lives independently with 3 other girl roommates at our age when the professionals all said she would never learn past the age of comprehension of pre-school age… And here she is innocently living life to its fullest.
Yes many struggles in life, and a whole lot of focus on her learning, and motor skills, but none of this measures up to the love she gives.
This is a beautiful post Anita, raw and emotional… I had several miscarriages and 10 plus years of heartache and fertility issues to even get pregnant and minor health issues were addressed, as minor as they were in comparison to yours mine were a walk in the park even with months of bed ridden days.
All I see here is this beautiful face that placed you on your path and what a beautiful outcome it has brought you to…..
I don’t want to use the words you are brave? You my dear are exactly who you are, and we all love you for those reasons.
Happy Beautiful 23rd Birthday beautiful.
Xx
Dore
She is beautiful!!And so are you!! I’ve always felt God makes no mistakes,he always gives these special babies to special people!!And she’s perfect in his sight and yours!!People who stare aren’t always evil,most times it’s something they’ve never seen before.I myself would tell them,”I know isn’t she beautiful?”And let them embarrass themselves.Thanks so much for sharing your story.I always look forward to your posts.God bless you and your sweet daughter!!
You are a great mother!
She’s perfect.
I won’t pretend to understand your heart ache. But I do know that you are an inspiration to many, for many reasons. You are beautiful and courageous. Thank you for sharing this post.
I was a NBICU Rn for over 20 years and the one thing I learned was that mother’s had a great ability and capacity for helping their sick little ones get better. Always faith, whatever they called it, played a huge part in getting everyone home in basically one piece, even if there were feeding tubes, etc. Even though there are always problems you have a beautiful daughter who has meaning in and for this world and you have done a wonderful job as her mom.
Anita I don’t know where the first line came from I didn’t write it
Sweet girls!!! Looking forward to part 2.
Thank you for sharing your story. Hopefully it will help another mother going through the same thing. I wish I had someone else to tell me everything would be ok when our 3 year old son was diagnosed with autism. I went through a period of mourning the loss of the typical child I thought I had. The worst thing was the fear of the unknown. Now our son is 22, he drives and has a part time job. While there have been some challenges, he has been a blessing in so many ways. I only wish more people would see the person, not the disability. Happy birthday to your beautiful daughter.
Happy Birthday to your beautiful daughter! Your girls are blessed to be able to call you “Mother”. I have a friend whose daughter was born with many visible as well as invisible birth defects. I had just retired and could help with her care while dad was at work. Caring for her was a 24/7 days a week job for two people. This child has been more than amazing, a precious miracle to all the lives she has touched. I read to her and talked to her from almost day 1. Her first signing to me was the word “more” when I stopped singing to her. That precious Angel has taught me more about life and love than I could ever have taught her. I, too, look forward to them rest of your story. Children with disabilities just want to be accepted and treated like everyone else. Your sharing your struggle is both courageous and loving. My apologies for this lengthy comment. You touched my heart and soul. God bless your whole family.
Reading this silences me. I don’t know what to say. I see how you continue to walk through life one day at a time, maintaining a healthy attitude. I know you have exhausted every option to make life better for your daughter. I see tenacity, perseverance, steadfastness, courage, and a strong protective ever present love that seeks the best for her. I admire you, Anita Joyce!
I agree with Cary from above who said, “I think Down’s Syndrome children are God’s angels on earth!”
Anita, thank you for sharing your story with us. We are all vulnerable when it comes to our children, and no one knows what it is like to walk in another’s shoes. People can be unkind. My Sister had 4 beautiful children, but has lost two of them. One at 19 and one at 24, both in automobile accidents. I see her pain and pray that one day she will be able to feel happiness again. I think our life’s struggles are what makes us who we are. Your’s taught you patience, love, and that you were stronger than what you may have thought. Your daughters are beautiful.
My brother with DS is ten years below me in age. He just turned 48. That is 48 years of blessings for our family and anyone who knows Chris. My Mom found out at his birth as well. We lived in an area that was very progressive and my parents had assistance from early on with information and educational needs. I can so relate to your emotions.
Wow…What a beautiful story from a loving mother….
Thank you for sharing dear Anita. I can only imagine the shock you & your hubby felt when that young doctor broke the news that there was something wrong with your newborn baby. I’m sure in the year that followed the adjustment to a new “normal” was hard too. Thank God that your daughter made it through the difficulties in the beginning and now spreads joy into the lives of all who know and love her. Both of girls are beautiful. Aren’t daughters just the best?
Hugs,
Patti
Thank you for sharing your daughter’s story. My husband and I waited until he completed his post-grad study (masters and doctorate) before trying for a family, but it never happened. Despite Elise’s rocky start, I’m sure all the joy she’s brought you since has made everything worthwhile.
Anita… I just want to give you a big hug and to let you know that you are a very brave momma. And also to say that I have always admired you for sharing both of your beautiful daughters with us. I pray that these words that were certainly hard to write will be life-giving to another momma. <3
Thanks Diane. I hope the same thing.
Happy Birthday to your beautiful Elise….she is so lucky to have you as her mama, her warrior chief!
Sweet Elise, happy birthday!!!! She is a darling girl… both of your girls are. You are brave and determined and one of the dearest people I know! I am so grateful to call you my dear friend! LOTS of love to you and Elise and the rest of your family!
Thank you for sharing, Anita. I look forward to reading Part II. You have a beautiful family! Your story is a living example of recognizing the great masterpiece that comes out of our difficulties. I hope your family enjoys a wonderful birthday celebration!
Anita, the tears are falling. You were and are a very brave woman with two lovely daughters. I love the posts that you write about both your daughters. You are so honest about your feelings and emotions. An example to all of us. You will never hear a critical word from me about your parenting. Congratulations on Elise’s 23rd birthday. Hugs to you both.
Anita, You have two beautiful daughters and I know they are precious to you and everyone they touch. Often, we don’t understand why we have to endure agonizing obstacles in life, but in the end your family is blessed by her presence. Happy Birthday to you lovely daughter!
Thank you Anita, I am always blessed to know parents like you and your husband who love and care for their children with a passion. Medical challenges are difficult because we can’t “fix” it. I see a lovely family and 2 very cherished daughters, I believe your relationship with them and their relationship with one another tells it all.
No one gets through this world without a fight. You think yours is hard until you hear another’s. God bless!
What, you leave me hanging on such a beautiful story of a strong family and it’s great women! It was not too long and I’m waiting for the next installment.
And if anyone doesn’t think so and makes comments to the negative, DELETE.
God created your beautiful family and the ability to ignore anyone who doesn’t think so. And both can be hard. But you all have proved you can do it. Waiting for the next post, with a smile on my face .
Happy Birthday! Sweetie Pie!
Happy Birthday to Elise! Your story is so heartfelt, I weighed on every word Anita. I just can’t imagine. It’s a mother’s worse fear to begin with, I remember being scared when I was pregnant the second time because of my age, and risk etc. But I felt in my heart that what ever God gave us, is what we would love, nurture and be there for. Hence, look at your girl now. XO Thank you for sharing. I will come back for part 2.
Your story brought tears to my eyes, thank you for sharing this with all of us. Happy Birthday to your beautiful daughter.
I am new to you blog and love it. What a beautiful story and what a beautiful mother you are. From the words of our Divine Savior – “Because you accepted this little child, you accepted me” A catholic nun who ran our school for special needs children once said ” Heaven will be filled with loving parents who will shine for all eternity with their Special Child, because they said yes. ” Happy Birthday to your beautiful daughter.
I am so sorry you went through such pain and so happy she is healthy and happy now. Can’t wait to hear the rest of the story! Happy Birthday to your sweet girl! karen…
Happy Birthday to your oldest! I’m sorry that so many people have been so cruel. It’s shameful and sad that you have had to endure that. I’m so glad that your wonderful daughters (both of them) have YOU for a mom….God most certainly knew what he was doing when he chose you to look after your two darlings. Hugs to all of you, especially the birthday girl! xo
You have two beautiful daughters and just remember God does not make mistakes. Cherish each moment, they grow so fast.
Blessings,
Mary L
Anita, It seems to me people like your daughter have been given the opportunity to be great teachers for all. Thank you for all of you walking a hero’s journey and for your willingness to share with us.
Congratulations on your bravery and your beautiful hearts!
Well done for sharing this. Your daughters, both of them, are absolutely beautiful, I hope she has a fantastic 23rd birthday.
I, at least partially understand those sinking feelings. Though my first child, also a girl, was born with a physical abnormality, I still had to go thru the steps required of this news. She is now in her mid 40’s and we have shared a full and loving life. God bless you for sharing.
Your story (Part 1) is sobering. My husband’s first teaching job was working with challenged children from 6 to 10 years of age. One young girl learned so much in the class and was strongly encouraged and supported by her family (Mom, Dad and 4 other sisters). We have remained in touch and she is now over 50 years old. We exchange birthday and Christmas cards and try to get together once a year. She is a loving, funny and happy young woman who brightens the lives of those who know her. Your daughter will flourish with your family’s and your love. Best of everything to you and your family.
Dear Friend, Thank you for sharing your daughter’s life. My granddaughter was born with a four mm hole in her heart. She had successful surgery at four months and six weeks later was admitted again to Childrens’ Hospital with acute mylogenous leukemia. She spent the time from Thanksgiving to Easter there. She developed cellulotis and endured 17 debredings. Sad to say they kept her under too deeply and too long. She is a pretty 16 year old with learning deficits caused by too much anathesia.
We are blessed to have her and her joy in life.
She is beautiful, a little angel!
She’s an angel sent from heaven. We wonder sometimes about the circumstances that we are dealt, but many times they are blessings in disguise. God chose you and your husband to take care of this precious little girl. Happy birthday to her! Only God can give us the strength to do the jobs that He puts before us. Sincerely in Christian love to you and your family.
We never know what life it going to throw at us. People who judge and say mean things just need to realize that none of us are immune to life throwing us a curve. She is a beautiful girl and although you have been through a lot I know that she has made you stronger and that you wouldn’t trade her for anything! Thanks for sharing your story Anita!
hugs,
Jann
Anita, thank you for sharing your story. The Internet can be a mean place sometimes so it was very brave of you! Wishing you and your family the best!
Dear One,
Our stories are our guardian angels; they keep us focused and centered and show us what Jesus taught, that we are forever to look beyond the obvious … In sharing your story, you have given it wings so that others may be enlightened and perhaps, comforted . Happy Birthday to your precious angel!
Your strength will give others courage. You have two lovely daughters. Lucky you!
Your daughter is beautiful. You are courageous and strong in your vulnerability. What an emotionally wrenching journey you’ve had. Thank you for sharing this part of your story. I look forward to reading the rest.
Your daughters are simply beautiful!!!
My heart breaks that people are so unkind. Both your daughters are beautiful, as are you. Inside and out. Happy Belated Birthday to your daughter, and God bless you all; you’re amazing! Thanks so much for sharing.
You are such a brave person. I can’t believe that people could say anything negative about your story. But I know some out there can be mean and cruel. A very Happy Birthday to your sweet daughter and I am so in awe of you for sharing your life with us. Most of us are probably total strangers but still you allow us into your world. We all have our struggles and sometimes sharing them helps us the most.
None of us are perfect and God can use anyone who is willing. Thanks for sharing your story.
Happy Birthday to Elise! She is a beautiful young lady with a beautiful mother both inside and out. Thanks for sharing. Our children are blessings from above and you have two wonderful Blessings.
A beautiful story. Thank you for sharing. I have taught special ed for almost 30 years. I always say it isn’t so much what I teach my students, but what they teach me. <3
Thanks so much for sharing your story. My aunt had down syndrome, and I have amazing memories of her growing up. She was always willing to play with us kids, and we never looked at her differently. She was very kind, and having her in my life made me a better person.
What a beautiful story! Thank you for sharing!
Your daughters are beautiful!!
I am sure this is not easy sharing your story. You may never know the lives you change by doing so.
Thank you for your honesty, and the pictures. The girls are beautiful!
Thank you for sharing your story.
Many years ago I substituted frequently in the special ed classrooms so had the opportunity to be a part of this community in a small way. Parents of special needs kids must have their own super power to be so strong and supportive even when they feel like screaming “why my kid?”
Looking forward to the rest of your story.
Happy Birthday to one of God’s miracles-
Your daughters are beautiful and I’m sure each has their own individual talents that make them who they are! Happy Birthday to your daughter and I know she is having a Wonderful Birthday with Family! Family is what matters. Enjoy every precious moment.
Patricia (NC Coast)
yOUR STORY IS STRONG. iT NEEDS TO BE TOLD OVER AND OVER.
Thank you for sharing your beautiful story. Everyone has something, crosses to bear. You have grace and love. That equals joy. Blessings to you and your family ???
Dear Anita, we each have our own journey through this life. You seem to be navigating yours beautifully. And your dear daughter is on her own journey as well, but she has you beside her, loving and caring for her. I think the people who are willing to walk with us, for even part of the journey, can help us tremendously. I hope you always have those around you. I remember when I adopted my daughter, I expected to bond immediately and with overwhelming love. I felt so confused and guilty when I didn’t feel that immediately. Thankfully, within days, the love seeped in and replaced my fears and apprehension. She has been my greatest gift and “teacher” in life. She will soon be 21. Anita, you have had challenges many of us will never know. But my guess is that you have developed a strength that many will not experience.
I thank you for your beautiful blog and inspiring ideas that offer ideas for creating lovely places in our hearts and homes.
Wishing you and your daughter a very happy and special 23rd birthday!!! God bless!
Our dearest friends has a beautiful daughter with Downs Syndrome, who is now, 37. When their daughter was three and their son 6, Matt had a heart attack and died. As you can imagine, Kathe had her hands full. Like you and your husband, they were stunned by the news about their daughter and it was hard for both of them. Both always said that between family, friends, and the church community they were able to manage, and Kathe said all those helped her continue to raise two beautiful children. Both are successfu in their own way. You and your husband and daughters make a beautiful family. I won’t pretend I understand what y’all and Kathe and Russ went through, but I know it was a hard and difficult time. Thank you for sharing your story. Strength is an amazing thing and often something we haven’t any idea that we have enough of. You’ve shown that in so many ways strength is just there especially when you need it the most.
Happy Birthday to your beautiful daughter. Many thanks for sharing this and God’s blessings on all of y’all.
Take care.
You can tell by the comments that we actually do read your words and relish your blog posts. Of course this one touched our hearts. The photos are so beautiful, and I know God brought you this precious one because He could trust you with her. May her birthday be filled with joy. Can’t wait for Part II. :o)
Your story is beautifully written. Thank you for sharing your memories. Happy Birthday to your beautiful daughter!
I am so glad you didn’t put her in an institution. I grew up with friends who had an Uncle with down syndrome who had been in an institution all his life. We loved it when he came to stay at their house for a couple days 2-3 times a year! He was fun, happy and a real Joy to everyone. As a parent myself, I absolutely understand how daunting the news of my own child’s disability could be and I would never judge anyone’s decision. But I hope I could be as brave as you were in the face of all of your trials to find the joy and love on the other side of the storm. Thank you for sharing!
As someone with a friend who has a son with Down Syndrome, I see your heart. Do Google, Nathan Purdy and or Pennies for Freedom.
Happy birthday to your beautiful daughter. Much love to you.
Happy Birthday Elise! You are beautiful and just perfect with very brave parents. God bless all of you.
Thank you for sharing your journey. Your precious ones are beautiful.
I am always in awe of parents who have down babies. I think God gave you this child because he knew you would love her and take care of her. You are a special person and this pretty baby girls is blessed to have you as a mom……God Bless you and your family…
ps
screw all the negative people…they cant see passed their ignorant noses!!!!
What a story….can’t imagine your pain and shattered dreams! Thanks for sharing though and many blessings to you!
Beautiful story. Thank you for sharing!
What a beautiful family! You are a wonderful mom. I love your story. You probably do not know how many people you just helped by sharing it. Thank you!
As someone who raised others children for 25 years, I am in total AWE of any one who has children. You love them as delivered, you cannot return a miracle. Both you and your daughters are beautiful. When people say mean things about how you chosen to live your life, they just don’t understand. Don’t try to make them. Instead be content with the fact you’ve done a wonderful job. No one would have done this the way you did. That’s why YOU are their mother. We are blessed by things we sometimes do not understand. Looking back, I’m sure you now see that.
Oh yeah, I love your site, for several years now. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing your story!
You mentioned your post was getting too long.
I would have to say never to that. Not long enough!
Cannot wait to hear more about your life!
She is beautiful! Just as beautiful as your second daughter’
Thank you so much for sharing your personal story. I know another family who were told they were going to have a Down syndrome child but later when she was born all was well. The mother’s attitude was that if God choose her to care for that baby no matter what, she would be honored. To think that God places these children in homes where He knows they will be given such love and care is amazing. God bless you for all these years. The good times and yes the bad times that come we gather courage and faith from our God who loves every child. All are perfect in His eyes.
Bless
When I start following a blog, it is for decorating ideas. A really good blog, that I continue to follow over the years, is one that invites me not only into the superficial but into their lives.
Thank you for your transparency, God always uses our hurts and struggles to minister to others, He never intends for us to hide those things away. Your story and your daughter are both beautiful ♡
Happy Birthday to your beautiful daughter! I hope she takes after you in her warmth, openess and strength. My niece was 24 years old when she had my great nephew (now 8). During her pregnancy their were indications that he may have downs, but she was not about to give him up. He appeared to have developed normally during the last few months of her pregnancy, but was diagnosed with Downs at birth. I have never been prouder of anyone than I am of my niece and nephew in-law. They struggled, they were angry and depressed, but they loved, uncoditionaly and eventually became two of the most informed and proactive parents you will ever meet. I hope you have found the support groups and clubs that have been such a blessing to my niece and her family.
Your story totally and completely resonated with me, though you are much more eloquent than I could ever hope to be.
My daughter is now 16 years old and while people often use the word strength, I think we do what we do out of love … pure love.
Thank you for sharing … I have too long felt alone in this and you reminded me that I am not.
I have a son who has Fragile X and it has not been an easy road, but no words in the languages I know can describe the blessing and what he means to me. I have 5, but of all them we have a special connection and through years of being a single mother and the challenges, he was my reason for living. I would not “trade ” him for anything or anyone. He is NOT “defective” or any other such terms people are cruel enough to use. He is now 32. So, enjoy and love and value your daughter and may God richly bless you Anita!
Agreed Karen. People may have challenges and struggles but they are not defective.
Sorry for the late comment, but I have an enormous amount of unread emails!
You were very young both of you to cope with all the health problems your daughter had. But cope you did & I am so outraged that you get ” looks” & nasty comments! Just unbelievable! I send you a great big hug from England.
Anita, Thank you for sharing your story. It was an encouragement to me. Happy Birthday, Elise!
Thank you for sharing your beautiful story. You do have two beautiful daughters. I can not imagine anyone ever saying anything negative to you — you have done a remarkable job makjng a wonderful life for both your girls.
Although I can’t relate totally to your story I did have a daughter who had to go through open heart at a very young age due to being born with only three chambers in her heart. I will never forget how the doctor told me, after I asked why she was so blue, at birth, that I had a very sick baby. You do shut down and being able to comprehend the following words is so difficult. My Jessi is now 25 and I’m so thankful that she survived her surgery and all the love she has given us over all the years. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
I always say there is a special place in heaven for people like you!
So happy your Jessi is doing well.
Thank you for sharing your story, what a brave amazing woman you are. Love Jade
Thank you
Both of your girls are beautiful!
Thank you for sharing your story!!
Thank you for sharing your story. Your and your daughter are beautiful. God gave her a mom that was strong enough to take care of her.
Thank you for sharing a little about the journey you’ve been on with your precious girls. I completely understand about having a day your world was shattered! My first son was born with Potter’s Syndrome and lived only 18 hours after his birth. I then blessed ten years later with a healthy son, who is now 15 years old. When we tried for a brother or sister for him, my next baby was diagnosed with Edward’s Syndrome while in the womb, and we lost that one at five months. We tried ONE more time, and I miscarried that one at about 6 weeks. The doctors told me that lightening doesn’t usually strike twice in the same place, but apparently I beat those odds with my babies. I miss my little ones terribly, so I know how blessed you must feel having your girls to hold tight and love on each day. I know Down’s comes with many challenges, but don’t ALL our kids have their own personal challenges? You princesses are adorable, hold them tight and tell them often how much you love them! God bless <3
I know you have a gazillion comments. But I just want to tell you how brave you are for “putting yourself out there.” When I do it, and I do it pretty often, I never know what the response will be. Positive or negative. But you know what: it’s a brave thing to do. And I commend you and truly enjoyed reading it, even though it was such a difficult time in your life. As I always say about us bloggers: “We aren’t just pretty pictures on the wall.”
Brenda
Yes I’ve appreciated your honestly Brenda. Not everyone pulls back the curtain like you do.
Hello Anita, I came upon your FB page by accident but we know with God there are no accidents. I read your blog about your charming little girl. What a sweetheart. My kids are now grown adults but I do have a 10yr old grandson who is the light of my life. In the first few years after his birth I was so in love with this little guy that I told my husband if anything happened to him I just wouldn’t want to live anymore. I can only just get a hint of what you went though and what your little girl went through. I love how you related the moment that you saw the angels. It really touched me as I tell my little grandson how angels are watching out for him. And, that wherever he goes…Jesus goes too because he has Jesus in his heart. I am blessed that he understands the concept and accepts it. Additionally, I love your designs and handy tips for decorating. We are moving into a new home and will be celebrating Thanksgiving there. I’m excited to decorate for the holidays and hopefully can use some of your ideas. Thank you so much for opening your heart and your home to your fans.
I really appreciate you sharing your story. It is so difficult having a child that is “different”. My son became deaf at 22 months from meningitis. We almost lost him. Those childhood years were very hard for me as a single parent. Your story brought back many of my own challenges and feelings. And many of the blessings! It’s true that God doesn’t give us any thing that we can’t handle.
There is no love like the love a mama has for her sweet children! Your story is beautiful and though I can’t imagine the difficult times that you and your family have had, God placed your sweet angel in your arms and knew you would be perfect for her, and her for you! Your love, strength, beauty, and grace are shining through her I’m sure if that 😉
Your sharing your story will touch many and hopefully it will open the eyes of some that need to have a true awakening in how they react and welcome differences in people!
My father lost part of his limbs from a blood clotting disorder after he had surgery for an Aneurism and though different from your beautiful daughters story it’s similar in the way people reacted to him…staring, asking questions, children walking up asking questions and parents awaiting my fathers response…though this was a difficult time for him learning to use prosthetics ‘limbs, dealing with the loss, the pain, he said he knew God was going to use him and he did! Sometimes my father would simply smile at them, answer their question, or more often he would allow his sense of humor to show through and he’d remove his prosthetic leg and say do you want to touch it?! It was funny but also life changing for many to see that he accepted who he was and that they had the problem not him 😉
God used him to speak with soldiers at the VA that returned from war and were depressed, or not wanting to do extensive physical therapy, because of pain, etc…he would share his story and say if I can do it you can!
He inspired others from his journey just as you are inspiring many through yours!
God bless you and your family always!!