I remember an episode of Northern Exposure that was so profound for me. Maggie found a letter she had written at 15 to her older self. She had forgotten about it, but her mom found it, and mailed it to her in Alaska. In the episode it was shown as the two Maggies (the younger and the older) having a discussion. Her younger self was unhappy with where the older Maggie ended up. They argue because they don’t see eye to eye.
I wonder what my 15 year old self would make of who I am now, of what I have become. I think in some ways she would be happy, yet in others disappointed.
Here is what I wish I could say to my younger self.
My dear, stop wishing for the next thing.
(Ha, ha, my mom hated that dog. I can’t believe she posed with him. I have a lollipop in my mouth; I’m not frowning.)
Be present in the here and now.
Don’t go out with guys that you don’t really like. And that guy you weren’t sure about who seemed a bit nerdy, it’s okay. You can go out with him. (That’s my fist husband…. oh and we’re still married.)
Enjoy that tiny waist. Don’t ask! (I made that shirt BTW!! Well apparently this was my version of ‘striking a pose.’ )
Forgive your mom now, in fact forgive everyone right now.
Savor that time with your Dad. He’ll be gone too soon.
It’s okay to be a dreamer.
You don’t need facts to back up every decision you make.
Buy the impractical car. And when your parents give you the old family car, don’t get too attached. Some one very close to you is going to wreck it.
Take some time off and live in Europe for a semester.
I know that photography class is going to be very time consuming, but something tells me you are going to wish you had taken it.
Being brutally honest is rarely a good thing.
Don’t get upset when people don’t understand you.
Seek out people who expect the best from you.
Don’t try to be like other people.
Don’t keep wishing it was some time in the future. Savor every moment of the here and now. Hug those close to you, and tell them you love them, and one more thing… on the purple floral sofa… don’t, just don’t.
What do you wish you could tell your younger self?
Don’t forget the giveaway going on now. Every time you leave a comment on my blog you will automatically be entered to win. For all of the fine print, click here.
To my younger self: “Always learn and teach respect as that seems to be what is lacking most in society today. Respect for people and things alike.
Oh the things I would of said . Become a chef when you are much younger and when given the opportunity go to France . You will love it.
I think your comments ring true with most of us. Hindsight is always 20/20 and to relive those days knowing what we know now…..Not sure how many would go back but we all need to express what we do know to our children, grandchildren & even great-grandchildren and hope they don’t look at us like “DUH!!! I know that” even though we know they don’t.
Thanks for making us (me) think back to when I was 15 and hoping that the young lady from a suburb in St. Louis would be proud of the “young” woman who now lives in rural southeast Missouri lived her life well, raised 2 beautiful daughters with her husband of 44 years and now retired enjoying what life has given her.
Have a beautiful day,
Karen
Karen, I lived in St. Louis when young, just went back last weekend, WOW it’s NOT the same…I now live on five acres outside Springfield, Mo.
Lots of my relatives live in Southeast Missouri, I was born in Cape Girardeau!
Loved this post! Oh yes, there are things I wish I had done and things I wish I hadn’t done. I wish I had made myself learn geometry. I wish I had stuck with practing piano. And learned to swim. (It’s not to late!) I think about my 18 inch waist also but wouldn’t change it because I have a lovely daughter, and after the pregnancy my waist never returned to its small size. I think though that my younger self would be tickled pink with where I am and who I am at this age. In my teen years I would sit on the back steps at home and see airplanes flying to far away places and dream of flying to far away places with strange sounding names. Do You remember that song? I married a pilot and have traveled the world seeing things I had never dreamed of. God has blessed me in my later years with a wonderful life, the younger years were hard. Have often heard, be careful what you dream of but in my case, I am blessed.
Beautiful and thought provoking. There’s many things I would like to tell myself but I also would not be wiser today without my failures.
Oh Anita, I never listened to anyone and that would probably include a letter from my future self! I would think it was parental “propaganda “! The only advice i wish I would have been able to give myself would be 1) USE SUNSCREEN AND QUIT lying in the sun, and that 2) happiness is a choice. Just choose it! You will immediately start living in the moment
My mom and I went through lots of memories and pictures of our younger selves recently. We smiled and cried every time we did this. It is still comforting knowing I walked down memory lane with her before her passing in July.
If I had to do it over:
I would have taken a different career path and not let finances concern me so much about where I went to college. I was a commuter and missed a lot of the social activities of being a dorm/apartment student.
Nancy (I think of my mom in everything I do.) Recipes, dishes I use, no milk jugs or mayo jars on the table etc.
Your letter to your younger self made me smile, what a great way to forgive yourself and encourage at the same time..I will be pondering this for quite awhile.
Take a chance, risk it now. I would have said, do it more. I was so afraid of making a mistake I didn’t do things I can no longer do now. The thought of incurring debt and disappointing everyone (but myself) really hampered me.
I would tell me to spend an entire Summer with my Mamaw and Papaw, trying to learn how to cook that wonderful way she did, with fresh vegetables and butter and cream from the farmer next door to them. He delivered it fresh early Saturday morning just in time for those melt in your mouth biscuits. I would learn how to quilt and crochet and to be an angel here on earth, just like she was, sigh.
Hello from Belgium,I love your post Anita . When I was younger I dreamed of a family, a wonderfull husband,3 beautifull boys,a big house with a large field and why not a little wood and little river on the back without forget a dog!
Now…I’m alone,a beautifull big son,live in a little city with a little garden …and I dream of Luberon!
Your post make me think about a french film( I don’t know if it’s translate in english so watch it;it is plaisant) in french: ” l’ âge de raison ” with Sophie Marceau.
A woman 40 years old reveices a letter,another and another…It was letters she wrote when she was 7.
With their dreams,recommandations…
I read your blog with plaisure. Cross fingers to win 🙂
Excuse me for mistakes,my english it’ s just “school remember”!?
Chantal
If my 15 year old self knew all the things she would do, she would not believe it! All the things, good and bad, right and wrong, make me who I am today. Three grown children (what? I’m going to have KIDS? I don’t want kids!) that I am so proud of. Husband #3 (What? I’ve been divorced twice and I don’t ‘believe’ in divorce!) whom I adore after these short 16 years. No horses in my life anymore (what? I can’t LIVE without a horse) all the things my younger self would not accept as possible, my older self has lived as an adventure. I loved this post and all it brought to mind. Life is good! Live it in the here and now!
To my younger self….play more, work less.
p.s. Picked up Country French Magazine and loved your piece in it.
Love this post… I would tell my self to stick with your dream and do not put it away ,and go to Europe and live there for while. Spend more time with your Dad ,before he is no longer around. Thank you.
Great advice and love the old photos. You’ve aged great!
There are many things I would tell myself, the most important being follow your heart!
I am approaching 80 years old – You have sent my mind back to my younger self – a small town girl just trying to make it in a big scary world! The “now me” would have had a larger family (have only 2 children), relaxed and enjoyed their childhood years more, fretted less about money issues, been more kind, practiced forgiveness early in life, showed more compassion, would not have “rushed” so much, would have reconciled with my dad, shown more love to my mother and spent more time getting to know My Redeemer – that is my favorite name for Jesus Christ. Yet my life has been full – better than I ever dreamed. The older me knows I have very little time here left. That is ok.
Your post rings true for me today. I turned 60 today. My husband wanted to celebrate big. I did not. I just wanted to rest and relaxation. Yesterday was a big family reunion and I’m tired. But reading your words made me think what I would say to your thoughts. I wouldn’t change a thing, but then I’d change everything. But not the fact that I treated myself and bought the latest Country French magazine and see you there! I feel like someone I know made it big!!
So I’ll make myself another iced coffee because it’s my birthday and read it from cover to cover….Congratulations!!
I have one simple piece of advice for myself…”Take the chance…”
Sometime’s I think to my younger self, I would of cleaned less, their were times I would send my husband to games with the kids so I could stay home and clean and get my time. The kids grew so fast and I realize those things are the little things now..
I wish I had taken the time to write down the family history and stories before my grandparents, aunts and uncles passed.
I wish I had listened more to my parents. They really DID know what they were talking about.
I wish I had been a bit easier on my children.
I wish I had worked less and played more.
I have taken chances, have no regrets…
Gosh, we are so hard on ourselves and other at that young age. I guess we just have to go through things in life to learn and grow. I’d tell my 15 year old self not to waste so much time on that guy and to go off to college instead of commuting. No regrets now though…no time for that. 🙂
If only we could talk to our younger or older self. Would we really change anything about the life experiences we have had. Isn’t that what makes us who we are today. Still we all look back and wonder what if.
I love this post so much! What great reminders. I would tell my younger self: relax, believe in yourself, spend more time having fun with your kids, you will survive huge challenges, and everything works out the way it is supposed to.
I just found your blog, LOVE!
I just subscribed to your blog; and after reading this and looking at the pictures of your home, I’m glad I did.
I loved this Anita!….loved the old photos and your stories….hmmm…to my younger self…”and you will live happily ever after!” ….
Relax and enjoy life. Give up the perfectionism. Go to Mass every Sunday.
So well said! Thank you for such a thoughtful post!
One thing I would tell my younger self: Take responsibility for your own life. Own it.
1st – love the blouse you made! So classic and becoming on you. To my younger self – don’t worry: Laissez les bon temps rouler!
To my younger Mother self, I would tell her to stop wishing away those stages of your little ones life. Those days can be tough, but one day those babies will be grown up and living their own lives. It goes by way too fast! And we want that for them of course. But, sometimes we just wish they were babes again.
I SO enjoyed reading your post, Anita! What a beautiful young lady you were … what a beautiful lady you still are! I, too, would tell myself to just enjoy life more – to not be so perfectionistic. It’s OKAY to make a B … or even a C! And last – I would tell myself to not wish for thinner thighs (little did I know how thin they were!) 🙂
Don’t be a nurse just because every e family expects it. You should love what you do.
Don’t date men who treat you like crap and want you to help them with money.
Don’t eat dessert.
Tell the truth about what has happened to you. Don’t pretend everything is OK out of fear.
Most of all, love who you are. Don’t listen to disparaging remarks and bullying.
Ahh so wise…… so grateful that in spite of the “trip ups ” we experienced in our lives we can learn from them and inspire our children, “grands ,” and others along the way.
Love this post!
Practice patient; especially with the elderly.
Be gracious.
Appreciate everything, it could be gone in a minute.
Be brave.
Thank a Veteran.
Do not take your health for granted.
I would have told myself that I was stronger than I thought I was. I would have told myself to go college and vet school.
You can never say, “I love you” too much.
I would say have a light heart, a mind that wants to learn a little about everything, stay true to your soul, forgive easily, love deeply even if it hurts, push yourself,you won’t break, do for others, remember your faith always, and stay strong. Last but not least. Smile. Someone needs to see it.
Lovely post! I would tell myself don’t miss out on lake trips, swimming pool parties because you don’t look perfect in a swimming suit–you look perfectly good enough–and others aren’t as critical of your looks as you are…
It’s so true. There are always things we wish we had done differently, but all in all I’m glad with most of my decisions made when I was younger. Especially marrying my husband at 21. We’re still going strong 36 years later and I love him more now than when we got married. As long as the important decisions were made right, it’s all good. Even the bad decisions have helped form us into the person we are today.
Stop worrying about what everyone thinks of you. It takes up too much time and energy that could be better spent!
I love this post so much!! Enjoyed the sentiment, enjoyed the pics… 🙂 I would tell my younger self, “Relax. If you follow your heart you’re going to wind up exactly where you’re supposed to.” Oh, and “Eat the cookie… But not the whole box!” 😉
I agreed with everything you said in the post. When you are young it’s hard to understand that everything happens for a reason- life will get better…..
Younger self…smile more, don’t worry about what the rest of the world thinks, be happy.
Some things I let go unsaid, some things I wish I had not said. Oh to relive those decisions!
Loved your post. I would tell myself to not listen to the critical voice in my head, to face my fears, and to take risks. Also, I would encourage taking time to connect and appreciate my children and loved ones daily. Actually, it’s still good advice for right now! I also loved the story if your life. What a journey!
Loved the letter all good advice!
Enjoy the time you have with your parents, they are gone much too soon.
Take care of yourself. That old saying is true! “If I knew I was going to live so long, I would have taken better care of myself!
And stop wishing for tomorrow, as you get older the tomorrow’s come hurling toward you at warp speed!
I am sixty six,still married after forty seven years to the love of my life. Regrets,yes, but by the grace of God have managed to turn those regrets into positive life lessons. Love always, learn to
laugh at yourself. Remember,you aren’t perfect, but neither is anyone else!
Love your post! Blessings to all!
Well said!
I think I would tell myself enjoy the days while the boys are young, don’t rush it, don’t say when they are older then I can do…..(whatever it may be at that moment!) I love my boys and miss those baby-toddler days!! Enjoy the right now!
What a fun exercise~to think back at where you were and how far you have come. Glad I’ve moved forward, but would not change a single experience…(even though I would not repeat many of them if given the chance.) All the questionable choices and their consequences make me who I am today and I actually like who I have become.
Great post! I would tell my 15 year old self , do not worry so much, God has every hair on your head counted! There are no coincidences, if you follow the golden rule , no worries ‘
My oldest grandchild will be 13 in 4 weeks. I will use this thought-provoking post to share with her my thoughts for my younger self. We live some distance apart and texting is our communication tool of choice. Day 1 text: Find something in each day that makes you grateful…write it in your journal to remember, to revisit, and to reflect.
Every day is a blessing, even the not so great ones….so treasure them all! Laugh, be silly and hug lots. I enjoy your blog and send blessings.
Dear Younger Me:
Savor every minute of your youth for soon you will blink and be 50ish. Take more trips, enjoy time with your parents. And dance dance dance your heart out!
Love and respect yourself first, if you don’t, know one else will. Loved this post, so good.
Dear younger me,
Enjoy every minute and don’t think too far into the future……And don’t take the car with your brother, dad WILL find out…..oh, and wear that bikini….yes, that one.
To my younger self.. Decorate with nature, save extra money, do everything you can for your parents because they do everything they can for you!!
Patricia (NC Coast)
Great post! I would say: worry less, laugh more; travel more, say I love you often and ask for help more readily!
Never say no to taking the job you will love, versus the one that may pay you more money.
You will be so glad that you took photos of your children and family growing up. Don’t worry that you don’t know everything right now. Keep learning all the time and you will be amazed at what you can learn in a lifetime. Keep smiling.
Anita, I feel like you are a dear friend that I look forward to talking to every few days! Your style is classic, serene, and absolutely gorgeous! I love your outlook on life! I measure my friends by how good it feel after exposure to them, and I come away from your blog feeling refreshed, and hopeful that I can make my house as lovely and homey as yours! Blessings for many more successes along the way!
Super post. I would tell my younger self, listen to mom and don’t wish to grow up too fast. Adulthood can be tough.
Cindy
Just beautiful, eye opening, and inspiring. Glad I opened my email today. Funny how something simple can change your entire perspective in the blink of an eye. Thank you!
The
Love the post and I would tell my younger self to enjoy each and every day God has given us! The years have flown by !
Study harder and save more for retirement.
Advice that I give my kids and younger people now:
1) Don’t worry about what others think about you- just worry about what you think about yourself
and the one that always goes along with it 2) don’t do things to please others ( what I did most of my life)
This works-for the others that you set out to please, never yourself. Now that I am doing what I want to do, wearing what I want to, saying what I want to and not worry about pleasing the world, everyone is saying, “Gee you changed”. No, I just stopped being what you wanted me to be.
Dearest younger Vicky…everything will be alright. I know you don’t believe that right now,
but it will. Just have confidence in yourself.
When you get to the rough times in life remember, “This too shall pass”.
lovely post.. see how so many have responded at such an emotional heart-felt level to your transparency… I too, have things to say to my 15 year old self… pursue art and don’t be intimidated by the “weirdos” in that field… take the great books classes even though they are not on the requirement list for teachers… be more proactive in making choices and do not be so acquiescent to what others say you should do… learn to deal with f.e.a.r. False Evidence Appearing Real. Embrace your gifts of making others feel good … don’t apologize for being you… get rid of the guy(s) who want to keep you down to their level. Now, at 63, I am content, God has richly blessed. But my 15 year old self could have really used some advice!
I would tell my younger self don’t worry about what other people think and don’t be so critical of yourself. Don’t settle for a career that isn’t really what you want—-go on to medical school and become an obstetrician! You can do it!
Play more with the children, take time with your grandparents, your father. Trust your instincts. Time goes so quickly, store up those precious memories. And, it’s okay to wear white, so what if there’s a spill!
Thank you for this post – it really brought back memories. My fifteen year old self could never have imagined me being 70! I don’t regret anything I’ve done in life because it all brought me where I am today and I have much to be thankful for, but if I could have told her one thing it would have been don’t put off taking those cake decorating classes. One day your hands may be too artritic to actually decorate cakes.
Such great advice! As a nurse, I spent most of my days caring for the elderly! Just loved these dear souls and they were always so grateful for whatever you did for them. It always made your heart feel good at the end of the day knowing that you had given your best for these dear souls! Little did I know that I would nurse my dear and precious Mom for over 10 years — and then be there for my dear Dad after my Mom passed away. These years have taught me so much and I am so thankful for the wonderful experiences I had. It has brought me so much happiness — and I thank God for this as it has been a wonderful life experience. I don’t think I would be the person I am today had I not experienced the good and the bad days caring for these dear people.
Always go the extra mile because you just never know who needs that kind word, smile, hug, or a helpful hand! Go by what your heart tells you and you will never go wrong!
Enjoy your posts so much!
Your comments are thought provoking. I think I would have to say some of the same things….live each without waiting for some future expectation that may never come. Learn that life is not all about me.
I would say to my 15 year old self, “don’t stop running, study harder, don’t worry about what everyone thinks about you, after high school.
Greetings from Australia. My advice to me – stay at school, do that law degree! I’ve had a marvellous life, but perhaps it would have been even more exciting with a profession from the get-go. Mind you, I’m only 63, work in publishing fulltime, and still have a lot of living to do. Thank you for your wonderful blog.
There are so many things I wish I could tell my younger self. Experience gives us the wisdom that we do not have when we are young.
I would tell myself be patient, be forgiving, make sure you don’t wait to have the conversations you always imagined having with your dad, you can’t have too many. Hug your brothers even if they seem uncomfortable. You’ll have the life you dreamed of
I would tell my younger self: Don’t dwell on the things in life that you don’t like. Think about the things that make you happy and the people that you love and that love you. Know that you are okay just as you are. It’s okay to love yourself. In fact, it’s the only way to really love others. Enjoy the present. Just relax and have as much fun as possible.
Oh, I love love love this post! You were and still are GORGEOUS! And you still have a waist!
I would tell my younger self… work on yourself more and dump all boyfriends until after college! Spend time traveling and don’t take the first job offered to you! And for heaven’s sake marry Bobby. He’s a winner!
To my younger self…..Every day is a gift, learn to treasure it, & each person in your life. Set healthy boundaries….do what is right, integrity, honor, morals, are all important but above all seek after God with your whole heart. Enjoy the adventure and remember that looking forward to your life is good, living each day as if it is your last, and glancing back to the past to learn from it, and leave a legacy worth having.
There are several things I would do differently but only if it didn’t change the overall blessings I have received in life. I agree that wishing time away to hurry on to the next step is something I would advise against. Preparing for the future without wasting the present would be a balance I would strive for.
Love your posts! I would tell myself to treasure those I love more…like my mother. I lost her to breast cancer way too early. Your daughters are blessed to have such a loving mother. Treasure those we love, for we never know when they won’t be with us anymore. Wish I had known that then….
This is just the best ever, thought provoking, post I have ever read. Thank you so much. After 54 years of marriage to the same dear man, who suffers badly from Parkinsons Disease, I am so grateful for the memories of our travels when we could. My dad said, make memories and don’t worry about the money so much. So true. Looking back is sometimes hard, and sometimes the best ever. God has blessed us mightily.
I loved this post! Wasn’t it great growing up when we did?
Such good advice!
choose happiness; leave negativity behind.
Have more fun. Take more risk.
Note to self… Be true…lovely post and memories…thank you
With age comes wisdom. Every day is a beautiful and precious gift. Be kind to yourself.
This post is so thought provoking. Thank you!
I would have told myself to believe in myself; to not be so critical. And to relish the tiny waist and flawless skin!
Love this post! I would tell my younger self that moving so many times (w my parent’s job) and being the new kid in school over and over really is going to make you into a stronger person. Really. And younger self, you are an introvert – you are not shy or backward or anti-social, you just work differently than the extroverts you are surrounded by – embrace it and the many strengths that come with it!
I loved this! It has really provoked my thinking of my past and present as well as how to better guide my daughters’ hearts. I know that allyou failures have brought me to where I am today but I also have to think hat kind of person would I be today if I’d been mature enough or stronger in charaster to have chosen more wisely in the past. Hmmm.
Love this posting everything you have said is soooo true.
I would tell her to dream big and go for it. You can do anything!!!
Loved this post! My advice to my younger self…love yourself for who you are (including the flaws), date the nice guys not the “gorgeous” ones, live in the moment, and think about the things you are grateful for each day…
I would tell her “Not to Sweat the small stuff”, spend more time playing with your children when they are young (time flies), and take time for yourself, don’t worry about things you can’t control, pray.
I would tell my 15year old self not to do anything that I would not want my mother to hear about if it were announced in church.
Oh GOOD ONE Charolotte!!!
Forgive your mom now, in fact forgive everyone right now. Such GOOD advice!!
Too many things to list here…..to save more money…that the job you are doing now will come in quite handy some day…..take more control of your life instead of letting other people choose FOR you….always love yourself….the little things are the best joys in life!
Thanks for the opportunity to win..your emails bring joy and I look forward to each one. I had to pare down on them, but yours are so enjoyable that it made the cut with flying colors.Thank you!
What I would tell my younger self is don’t be so shy, speak up, join clubs, get involved. Housework can wait, play with your children, they’re going to be grown way too fast. Don’t worry about money, things will always work out, one way or another.
At 15 I was such a dreamer, because we were poor and so therefore I dreamed of traveling to far away places. I would tell my younger self to never ever give up on your dreams and never ever let anyone tell you otherwise. Although I haven’t lived all of my dreams, I have lived the biggest part of them and along the way I met a wonderful guy, been married to him for 54 years and have three beautiful children, five beautiful grand children who have given us five beautiful great granchildren (and counting). Oh, but he way, I still have my dreams. ?
Your tips are always so down-to-earth! I would paint my table, but it is 100 years old and it belonged to my mom. I can only wish for a 2nd dining room or a vacation home…….
YOU write about such wonder things and you make my heart dream … hummmmm, I wonder !!!!
Jayne
Very good thoughts!! I would tell my younger self to try to enjoy where I am at the time and enjoy my life. Life does go so very fast.
I would tell my 15 year old self to worry less about what others think, to be less of a people-pleaser and true to my own calling. To explore my God given talents to see where they take me. To believe that it is possible to make a living doing what you love – the intersection of passion and profession is a destination many are able to find. But it’s also OK to make a good living – to afford doing what you love. Never abandon your talents – they never leave you – they are what make you unique.
I spent my childhood suffering from Rheumatoid Arthritis. I fought it every step of the way. I am so glad I did. Now I’m very limited by the ravages of the beastly Rheumatoid and I have wonderful memories. It was so painful and I’m soooo proud of myself for fighting it. The strength and courage I gained all those years ago helps me now. I remember how hard it was to walk some times. Now when I drag myself to the kitchen I KNOW I can do it as I pass by my wheelchair.
I loved the article of My younger self. Such sweet sentiments. I enjoy your blog so much Anita. I always look forward to seeing your beautiful ideas.
That was just beautiful and I love the comments you’ve had too. This seems to resonate with us all. Thanks for being honest, open, and relevant!
Listen to your inner voice…your “gut” is usually right.
I love this post. I always tell my two daughters that “Life is lived forward; but understood backwards”.
I don’t have many regrets! I can say I have been blessed with a happy life! My dream was to marry and have children! I have tow wonderful sons so m blessed! And my husband couldn’t be better married for 37 years!
I would tell myself life goes by fast enjoy
Life and its and downs. I would say believe in your self more!
Thanks for this post made me think about my wonderful life! God Bless all!
Loved the look back- enjoy the age you are and think young- grand daughters help me do this.
Anita, Thank you for revisiting this post. What a gift and a blessing! It has aroused so much emotion. I also thank everyone who posted, as these reflections on life, past and present, have touched me deeply.
I would tell my 15-year-old self that life is not meant to be put on hold forever but to be embraced, letting go of disappointments and overcoming fears and anxieties. I would urge her to deepen her faith early, to grasp the true meaning of Christ sooner and more fully, not only to help get her through the many years ahead but to bring her joy amidst the sorrows. Finally, be happy with what the Lord gives; gratitude and humility will spare much heartache.