The secret is out. Shhhhh…..
We don’t actually make our beds, at least not every day. Now if you are a blogger who makes her own bed every day, firstly I salute you. You are a dedicated soul, and I respect that. Secondly move along; this post isn’t for you.
It’s for the rest of us who struggle to get it all done every day. Think of your favorite home decor magazine. They have a team that scouts properties to find articles for the magazine. Then a team decides what stories will be included in the upcoming issue. The homes they find were typically designed by a interior designer, then a stylist comes in an adds special touches of pillows, flowers, and other goodies. They move the furniture around, and the photographer takes the photos. The photos are then edited.
A writer writes the article, then an editor reviews the copy. Someone else takes the articles and the photos and puts them into a layout for the magazine. There is a department that deals with ads. Then there is a department that deals with marketing the magazine. They also are active in many forms of social media. In some cases one person fulfills each of these roles, and in other cases, it is an entire team. Then there is a customer service department that handles reader questions.
Most bloggers wear all of those hats, without any help. And often the blogger has another job on top of that. I do work for clients, photography work for builders, and also freelance work (writing and photography) for magazines and websites like Houzz.com. On top of that, I’m a brand ambassador for some of my sponsors. And I have a family that expects me to cook and do mundane things like laundry. I have some clothes that have been hanging in my laundry room for months, just waiting for me to iron them. (Update, I ironed them!!)
What happens is that the blogger works non-stop on her blog, and then she gets discovered. When the discovery happens, more work comes her way, but the workload doesn’t go down any where else, it just gets bigger and bigger. Some bloggers have assistants. I have two, but it’s very part-time, and I do the lion’s share of the work. They do a fabulous job, I just can’t afford full-time help.
Blogging is probably the slowest way to make money known to man. It’s a slow-go, so most bloggers can’t afford an assistant. And a lot of companies pay bloggers in product, so that means you get good stuff, but you can’t use it to pay your bills or your assistant.
All of this to say, we are NOT super-moms. I found myself recently concerned about a trip to Italy and France, because I worried about what would happen with my blog while I was gone. Did I ruin a trip of a life-time because of my blog? No. I am working on balance in my life. I love what I do, which is why I tolerate working long hours, but at the end of the day, I need to spend time with my family and friends. I WANT to spend time with my family and friends. Something has to give, and often that is the laundry, and my bed, and a few other things around my house.
So if you are a non-blogger comparing yourself to a blogger STOP! I can guarantee you that the perfect house you see on the blog, is not the way it looks all of the time. This is one of the biggest secrets in blogland. The job of a blogger is overwhelming!
Real conversation I had recently with another blogger. She asked how she could have a successful blog. I opened by mouth to speak… then she finished her sentence… ‘without working all the time.’ I closed my mouth. That last part stumped me. My answer was, “When you find out, let me know.”
I didn’t realize I would miss those days just starting out, when I could take a week off from blogging and no one would notice. I didn’t realize how much pressure would come with the recognition. I now have external deadlines that I have to meet, sponsors to keep happy.
I don’t expect you to feel sorry for me… I’m just saying my bed is not made.
Thanks for your post. The gist of what you wrote is what I try to tell my writing students that think good writers are born: as readers they only see the finished product, but what the reader does not see is all the hard work, rejection, and revision that goes into a polished, final draft that gets published and maybe even a best seller. If anybody wants to become good at anything, they have to be willing to sacrifice and put in long hours honing their skills to become the best.
Glad you are telling them that hard work is important Philomena!! Kudos!
I don’t blog (yet) and there are many days my bed is straightened but not made. I have often felt bad about it since I don’t work outside the home. Now I don’t. Thank you for bringing out the real life you!
So glad Heidi!
Don’t hate me Anita but I do make my bed every day…….but my house is no where near perfect.I try my best in my photos but I a daily basis it ain’t happening! I am holding a sale at my house.The inside looks like a tornado hit!I won’t be sharing those photos on the blog…but I did make my bed today 😉
xx
Anne
I could NEVER hate you Anne!! I’m proud of you. I’m just not there.
My OCD won’t let me leave a bed unmade unless I am sick. I hate getting into an unmade bed at night and surely hate looking at it. Yes, lots of time spent on blogging, but it’s what we do. 🙂
Yup. That is great that you make your bed every day. I do go through times when I do every day, then times when I don’t.
My hubby asked me if I document how much time I spend on my blog and I did that one week and was amazed…way too much time!..and I am a little blog!!!…..I loved reading this and swooning over your photos…but I must admit…my bed gets made as soon as my feet hit the floor, or soon after my first cup of coffee…I guess it is from childhood..we kids could not leave the house unless our beds were made. With all of your activities, work and family, do not know how you get it all done…you are “wonder woman”..
Well that is a good habit Shirley.
This was a great post Anita, and while I’m still a young blog and haven’t been discovered yet, I am incredibly busy and the balance is a struggle. I’m really bad about making my bed…. but for some reason, when I take the time to do it, I feel like my home is a little less chaotic!
😀 Many good points made in this post Anita.
I am so rigid, that I make my bed daily. Pick up the home daily. I no longer work outside the home as I gave up my part time job working at the Salvation Army a few months ago. My blog is a hobby, I started it while on bed rest a few years ago… so it’s not a full time thing. I admire your full time bloggers , but I know, I would never give it the time it needed. It would have to make way for my life and family, my painting….
Without fulltime bloggers however, I would be sad. I luv reading and catching up with you all daily! Keep doing what you do.
Hugs, Gee
Flylady helps me!
i love flylady lol!
I blog part-time hence the small readership. I do try to keep balance in my life and I work a full-time job, have family obligations (2 elderly parents), and a messy bed. That’s just the way it is at this stage of my life.
I thought I would love to grow my blog to the point that it would be a good source of income. Rethinking that now after reading your post.
Your blog is beautiful and I know it requires many, many hours of work. You should be proud of your business. Your posts are always so interesting and the photography is first rate. I wish you continued success.
Like! I love the honesty.
What a great post. My blog is nothing to most but I would love to get it to a higher level. For me, life does get in the way. My priorities are blogging in the morning for the most part. I am just getting the ability back to physically take care of our new home. Weird as that may sound to many, I’ve missed that and doing new things with our pups. That may be weird also for most but they are our babies. I am looking forward to making my bed again, once I can get the time from unpacking to get that new bedding done, LOL. Want to really give it a whirl but for us my health comes first with my MS.
Cindy
Take care of yourself first Cindy!!
love the post anita. i admit my bed is made everyday and my kitchen sink drives me crazy if not clean. as flylady says…those are my hot spots. i wish my house was “done” with nothing left to paint or replace or plant! being at it for 20 years and still not done. either life or finances get in the way. and i don’t have a blog to add to my load. do what makes you happy in this life! you only have the one and the housework will always be there waiting for you, like the monster it is lol!
Ha ha, best title ever to a blog post! I’m definitely one of those people who pretty much always had the bed made, but in the past two months since I started the blog, along with launching my invitation line, and then continuing my existing graphic design business, I feel like there are simply not enough hours in the day. The marketing part in particular, trying to keep up with the various social media outlets, reminds me of the “I Love Lucy” show where she works in the chocolate factory and the chocolates on the assembly line just keep on coming ever faster. I’m always feeling like, “Oh, I forgot about Twitter” or “Omg, now I have to do Instagram” or “What did I already Pin on the group boards?” Between trying to make sure you read everything you want to read and comment with a genuine voice, and posting to all the different avenues, the hardest thing is remembering the original impulse was to have a creative outlet and remaining true to that vision. The funny thing is, when I worked at my “real job”, working extra hours and traveling a lot, I never felt so stretched. It is very weird to be a one man show, because inevitably that means doing some tasks that you’re not as good at as your main gig. As for getting it all done, I can’t say I’ve worked that one out – and I’m just starting out! But for now, my compromise is to farm out the household chores.
I loved this post. I have blogged over 5 years and no one really knows I exist….I do blog a lot….but I no longer work outside the home. I almost always make my bed…I am the princess and the pea! But I hate closets and desk tops…..so, there is my messes!!
Blogging in most cases can soothe the soul, it allows everyone to feel like an interior designer, a writer, a poet, a personal shopper, an artist, a marketer, and best of all that great escape artist where one can save themselves with the one thing in life you have control over, blogging !! You might say it’s your very own therapy, life saver, and personal life coach. If it gets you out of bed and motivates you to share your next best posting that encourages or inspires then why worry if you haven’t gotten to making the bed today?
I have to admit Anita, if nothing gets done in my day, but making the bed it’s what I must do before I move on to the next attempt to get going in my day; and somehow it all seams to melt away when I find that perfect time to blog with like bloggers who add grace and beauty to the reason why we are all here.
Thank you Anita, for keeping it real and oh to beautiful over here.
Xx
Dore
I so agree with all what you have said here
Ok….only one thing missing from your post…..and I kept scrolling and scrolling…..a pic of your unmade bed! I have my suspicions that your “unmade” bed still looks a hundred time better than my made one!!!!:))) Great insight..thanks for sharing!
Ha, I’m not showing that!!!
Confession: I don’t make my bed everyday! There I said it! My house is a real mess sometimes… I mean a real mess! (With dust bunnies and fingerprints on the cabinets and dog toys all over) But I love my house and I wouldn’t change a thing. I think that is the point! Home and lifestyle bloggers LOVE their homes and they love other’s homes too! It’s a passion! I know that when I look at someone’s blog it is different than a magazine spread or a show home where everything is perfect in every room. How do I know that? Because I am a blogger ~ who is also trying to juggle a full/part time job in my husband’s office, my own design and staging job, my children, my pets and if I have any time left my friends! But I love blogging and I now try to keep the balance which means I probably won’t make it in the big leagues like some of you have. But I will continue to blog because I just enjoy it as I also enjoy reading all of the great blogs out there! (whether they made their beds that day or not!)
Cindy
Ditto girl!
Dit-toe.
Thinking I wish I could just cut and paste the photos I took of myself blogging in bed the other day. I work nights and blog when I cannot sleep in the daytime. Today I got carried away on a garden walk photo album that you can find by going to this link.
https://plus.google.com/107329652328487407523/posts/gk92F45k5ta
Ha a successful blog without work? I am still working on the success part and it is a LOT of work everyday! It’s a bonus if I get to making the bed. Great share…thought for sure I was going to see a photo of your unmade bed at the end. 🙂
Oh sorry, #notsorry
I do make my bed everyday. But I also made my bed everyday, when I worked outside the home 50 hours a week… I just love having my bed made. Now, don’t look too close at the dust bunnies…
This is really interesting. I recently started a blog, but stopped for a little while as i’m now back at my ‘real’ job virtually full time and i was finding the joy of the blog had diminished. However, your post has made me rethink what i want to do, and i do want to blog, but maybe just need to take the ‘pressure’ off.
Thanks
Jane
Oh my goodness, Anita! I’m sitting here in my office, which looks like a bomb went off in it, reading this and laughing to myself!
When people ask it what they see on my blog is real. I always say, “Yes, it is my real life, but only a slice of it”. They don’t see the extreme mess behind the camera, Styling a vignette or food or a room really makes a mess to get it just right!
BTW… I’m working on the habit of making my bed every day… it’s still hit or miss!
Had to laugh … I’m one of those who makes her bed everyday. It’s the first thing I do every day (even on the weekends). BUT … don’t look at my laundry room right now, or the family room, or the kitchen. My house is never perfectly clean unless company is coming over. 😉
Nail on the head girl…you said it perfectly! Now, I think I may go have a much needed nap in my already unmade bed! Love you, lady!
Jess
Now that is what I call thinking Jessica!! Love you too!!
I’ve just entered the blogging world.
I’m daunted by it all.
I have only so much information to share.
I intend to fake it, most of the time.
I’m sat here behind my computer screen, with a glass of wine, waiting to be discovered.
I may need a bottle of wine.
Or two.
I suspect it may take some time.
Diane, yeah, it takes some time, and a lot of work. Hang in there.
i, too, thought i’d see an unmade bed (LOL)!….i really enjoyed reading this post anita and like others appreciate your honesty…sometimes i hesitate to share pictures of my home on my blog because the old comparison monster creeps in….i really love my house but it seems it’s never “done” and for the last 3+ years a lot of projects have been halfway done or not done at all as i’ve been my 94 year old mother’s full time caregiver and this past thursday i had to place her in a nursing home so that has been my priority and focus….but maybe i should go ahead and post pictures of the rooms “not quite done” and be proud of what i have accomplished.
thank you again for such an insightful post!
Oh my sweet friend, you inspire me. I often struggle with keeping all of my plates in spinning. I have three online shops, a blog design website and of course Katherines Corner. Add in the social networking and I often stand looking at my pile of ironing and wonder. “Should I just wash them again and see if some of the wrinkles come out”. Giggle. Big hugs to you my friend for your attitude, honesty and continued success at what you do and how you share. ♥.
Thank you for your honest post Anita! As a blogger still trying to “make it”, it’s helpful to remember that I need to be careful what I wish for! Success does bring added responsibility, and it’s always wise to count the cost before you jump into any venture. Enjoy your vacation!!
Thanks for your honesty Anita! I just love your blog and admire your drive. I am not a blogger but a working mom who started school again. I took your unmade bed story as a metaphor for anything in our life that may get “messy” when we are balancing many things. I am always juggling too and my house is like Jennifer’s – most clean when company is coming!!
Amen and Amen again! You are soooo speaking the truth of it all. I did some “deep thinking” about blogging recently and wrote a post about it here: http://www.talkofthehouse.com/on-blogging-and-life-thinking-aloud/ I can’t believe I have never thought about all the hats one wears as a blogger, but it is so very true! (I need to let my mother read this post since she does not seem to understand all that being a blogger can encompass.) Thank you for being a voice for what all of us are feeling.
I love this! Thanks for the encouragement, and the permission to not make my bed. Finding balance is the hardest thing when you work for yourself, and your description of the magazine staff made me realize why that is. Oh well, I’m having too much fun to quit, but it’s nice to know I’m not alone! 🙂
Hello, not a blogger, just an admirer. I would love to know where you purchased your spread. Maybe if I had one like that I would make my bed every day.
Kathryn, I made the bedspread.
You MADE the bedspread! That gives you SO many extra points you never have to make it!
My Mom taught all 4 kids the fun way to make our beds. While you are still IN IT, just move your arms and legs as if you are doing a jumping jack. Your covers will smooth themselves out, then you slowly slide your self out. With 4 kids she considered that ‘good enough’. Well, I am in my 50’s and some days that is how I still do it. I also give myself points and say ” Good job Gloria. You just did some stretching exercises and killed two birds with one stone.” P.S. Don’t look back. It’s not really pretty.
Just wanted to pop in to say you hit the nail on the head here! Blogging is SO much work, and the only way I can manage it AND spend time with my hubby and take breaks to enjoy time with God is to not make my bed…not always put away my clothes…and not stay on top of laundry like I should. None of us are superheroes, as much as our photos may suggest otherwise, but posts like these help bring us all back down to earth and remind us that we’re not as different as we might think. Thanks for sharing!
hi anita! – I have to ask (dying actually – ha) but where did you get your bedspread? I love it but have been unable to find one like it.
thank you!
barbara
Barbara, I made it.
This is SO good! We’re new bloggers and reading this is really helpful. Thank you.
Hang in there Alison!
Thank you for a realistic look at the life of a blogger. For all of us that think how fun it would be to blog full time, it helps to know the grass is not always greener!
Oh my Gerri, it’s fabulous and overwhelming all at the same time. And I wrote that before things got even crazier.