My daughter when she was younger used to get so upset when she did not do well on a test. She would pronounce herself a failure. I would then do my best to explain how failure works, that everyone fails along the way, but that does not make you a failure. I would always tell her that the difference between someone who succeeds versus someone who fails, is that the successful person perseveres after each failure and does not give up. (But still sometimes it is good to accept defeat on something and move onto something else. So accepting defeat in something still does not make you a failure!)
As I get older I realize how impossible it is to be successful without having any failures. It is statistically very improbable. I remember reading that Edison said invention is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration. He knew failure too. I read that he failed 1,000 times when attempting to invent the incandescent light-bulb before he finally had success. Now that is perseverance.
There are many instances where successful people faced failure and kept going. Here is an article I found about 50 famous people that had significant failures.
So failure is to be expected on the path to success. (I sure wish someone had told me that when I was younger.) But why is failure good? Because you learn from these experiences. I worked as a quality engineer and quality consultant, developing several statistics courses in those early years. Then I decided to leave that field when my first daughter was born. Next I had my own portrait photography business for several years. I got bored with that. Following the photography business, I used what I had learned from my previous jobs, and created an online photography class I sold on CD back in the early 2000’s. It was before it’s time. No one had heard of taking an online course back then. No one knew what an ebook or ecourse was. My website had no traffic, and so potential customers didn’t even know my product existed. Customers that actually bought the course raved about it, but to most it was an oddity, dare I say a ‘freak’ product. And so I folded up shop. I felt like a failure to some extent. It was an embarrassment to me. I did not understand the power in failure then.
Next I worked at a furniture store. I loved it, but at some point realized I didn’t want to do that forever. I left after 6 years. Another failure? Well not exactly. I mean I don’t think of it that way. I learned that retail work was not for me. I learned styling and merchandising. I learned about furniture. I learned even more about website design because I did the store’s website. I was the newsletter editor and blogger also. As it turns out, being the newsletter editor for the store, developing all of those statistics courses and the photography course prepared me for all of the writing I would do as a blogger. The photography experience was extremely valuable since I do a lot of photography for my blog. Working at the furniture store helped me to understand design, decorating, styling and furniture. The website development I did for the furniture store and for my own businesses prepared me to design my blog. So rather than looking at my professional life as one big failure, I see it as preparation for the job I was born for, blogger/author/photographer/creative person.
Every one of my previous jobs helped to prepare me for what I do now. The other thing that happened was that I became more and more aware of what I wanted to do, and what I did NOT want to do. I realized I really like working for myself. And I also learned to not fear failure. Many people are so afraid of failure that they never try anything.
I still make mistakes, and some days are full of them. But with every mistake, I try to learn something new about blogging, business, interior design, photography, writing, and myself.
So my hope is that this has encouraged you to reframe any past failures as a step along the way to success. John Powell said, “The only real mistake is one from which we learn nothing.” Please don’t let the fear of future failure or the pain of past failures keep you from achieving your own dreams.
Thank you for this timely post. I am starting a new venture. When stepping out of one’s comfort zone it can create fears of failure but as you say you learn and grow instead of considering it a failure.
Anita, I collect poems and inspirational books. I think this poem reminds me of you and your journey.
A vision for tells what may be ours. It is an invitation to do something. With a great mental picture in mind we go from one accomplishment to another using the materials about us as only as steppingstones to that which is higher and better and more satisfying. We thus become possessors of the unseen values which are eternal. Katherine Logan I love reading your blogs, I know you are an inspiration to the design forum.
Beautiful post Anita. Thanks for being open and giving us some great things to think about. It sounds like you’re doing exactly what you were meant to do.
What an inspiring post, Anita! I also told my girls to try and learn from what they felt were failures or disappointments. I often had to remind myself to do as I was telling them to do. You mentioned the trials of Edison in trying to construct the first successful incandescent light bulb. I watched a documentary film on PBS a few weeks ago about Edison. It demonstrated how often he failed and how others thought he was somewhat of a crackpot. It is good to be reminded that we must try and sometimes try again because there is success of a sort, even in failure.
Thank you for such a nice read today! I love your blog!
Blessings
Anita,
Well stated and written, dear friend!!!
Motivational and encouraging!!!
Fondly,
Pat
I recently read about the difficulties Edison had finding the right filament for the light bulb. He said he didn’t have failures; he just knew 1,000 things that wouldn’t work. 🙂
I like that Jeann!!
Great post, Anita!
As a former teacher I can tell you this is the hardest lesson to teach young people. It is very hard to look a student in the eyes and tell them there is no do-over, but I am sure you will do very well on the next project from what you have learned.
What a great post and insight! I’ve done quite a few things over the years as well – legal secretary, photographer, executive administrator, etc. Now I work part-time for my husband’s company (all HR stuff, including payroll) and enjoy having the time to write my blog (which I just started), go out and take photos WHEN I want, not when I HAVE to and doing projects around the house. I have ups and downs and sometimes felt like I was failing when I was ready to move on and do something different. But I realized that this all part of life, that doing different things helps us grow – not fail. My failures now come in the way of craft projects gone wrong :-), but I learn from those also!
This is such an inspirational post! I agree that the culmination of things we may fail and succeed at make us better people for it, and who we are! Thank you for this wonderful post.
This is a beautifully written post. thank for this Anita. So many truths written her, especially the part about reframing our experiences to see the valuable lessons that they hold. Very inspiring.
P.S. I failed to check my spelling before I het the return key. darn this iPad touchpad!
I don’t particularly fear failure, but I do fear losing a lot of money when failing.